


People In Glass Houses

by whyidontknow1



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: ANGST!!!, Alternate Universe, Established Relationship, Happy Ending, M/M, Producer Louis, Smut, Suspected Cheating, Things are not what they seem, country singer harry, devious fans, never happened, unprotected sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-15
Updated: 2013-11-15
Packaged: 2018-01-01 15:24:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 28,710
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1045521
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whyidontknow1/pseuds/whyidontknow1
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry Styles is an openly gay international country music superstar. He's in love with and in a very committed relationship with game show producer Louis Tomlinson, but on a night he'll regret for the rest of his life he's led to believe that he makes a potentially scandal causing mistake. It ends up costing him Louis even though he has no memory of the night, and when he thinks things can't get any worse they do. Harry makes an innocent comment about an embattled superstar on the Grammy red carpet and suddenly his relationship with Louis isn't the only thing he has to fight for.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Same Louis Tomlinson

**Author's Note:**

> 1\. I really wanted to try my hand at a chaptered fic.  
> 2\. I started this at the end of July, but I got stuck on the last chapter until now.  
> 3\. Before you read know that Chris Brown is the artist that Harry comments on and get's in a little trouble for. Please don't think I'm condoning his actions because I AM NOT.  
> 4\. Except for mentions and the song Harry performs at the Grammy's this fic is not Country music heavy. Although I would to read one that is.  
> 5\. All the boys are adults in this because I love adult 1D.  
> 6\. It's complete so hopefully all of it will be up tonight or tomorrow as I am trying to be extra diligent with proof reading. Who am I kidding. It will probably still need a lot of editing.  
> 7\. Proceed at will!!

“Harry!”, “Harry, smile for the camera!”, “Harry, over here!”, “You’re beautiful, Harry!”, “Harry Styles!”, “Harry!”, “We love you, Harry!”, “Will you marry me, Harry?”, “Give us a wave, Harry!”, “Good luck tonight, Harry!”

Harry feels like he's in the midst of a surreal dream, but the flashes from hundreds of cameras almost blinding him, the paparazzi and reporters shouting orders and questions at him, and the hundreds of fans screaming his name work to keep him in the land of reality. Even after all this time Harry's still not used to the pandemonium, but he pastes on the dimpled smile that's almost as famous as his voice, waves to the fans and poses for a few of the photographers. This should be one of the most exciting nights of his career. Not only has he been tapped to perform tonight at tonight's Grammy’s, but he’s also nominated for _Country Song of the Year_. If that weren't enough of a dream he's also nominated for _Record and Song of the Year._

Harry's not the first international country music superstar, but his success is unparalleled in England, and in just over the three years after his second place finish on X Factor he’s reached a pinnacle in his career that most artists only dream of. His fame is even more spectacular because he’s openly gay. However after three platinum albums, the last two going triple platinum, and two sold out international tours it’s obvious that his sexuality matters little to not at all to the majority of his fans.

That's not to say that Harry hasn't experienced some backlash. Mostly within the industry, but he fearlessly withstood the negativity and criticism right from the beginning, and even before the release of his second cd he was being compared to artists like _Tim McGraw, Keith Urban, and Kenny Chesney_.

Further establishing Harry's status as a country music superstar was that two songs from his last record, the reason he’s walking the Grammy red carpet tonight, were also huge crossover hits. The phenomenal success of the songs exposed a whole new audience to his music and in turn increased his already astounding popularity and success. Success that's earned him a great deal of financial wealth over the past few years, and if it were left up to him he'd be content to let his money pile up in a bank somewhere, but Niall Horan, his attorney won't hear of it. He's always pushing Harry to expand his holdings and because of him Harry has an ever expanding list of possessions. In addition to all the money he’ll ever need he has homes in Tennessee and Miami, a flat in London, a portfolio filled with lucrative investments, and a small fleet of automobiles. Some of which he’s never even driven.

Tonight none of it means anything. It never really has, and as Harry continues down the red carpet, even the music that's been his passion for as long as he can remember fails to inspire him. He never thought anything would ever mean more to him than his music, but that was before he met Louis Tomlinson. The man who should be with him right now calming him down, holding his hand as they walk down the red carpet together, cheering him on when he performs.

Louis should be here to share in the victory if Harry happens to win an award, but he's not and all Harry feels is lost.

Even when it looked like he’d only get as far as singing covers Harry lived and breathed music. It was is everything and then the _X Factor_ happened. The talent show gave him the break he needed, but more importantly it gave him Louis.

When Harry auditioned for _X Factor_ Louis was a producer on the show.

From their first meeting Harry knew there was something different about Louis, and although he suspected Louis returned his feelings Harry wasn't confident enough to tell him about the instant attraction. With time and more than a little patience he was proven right, and for over two years Harry lived his dreams. His music continued to soar in worldwide popularity and he had the love of his life by his side, but two weeks ago the dream was ripped right out of his complicit and guilty hands.

Harry poses for a few more pictures before he moves on to the section of the carpet where the reporters are interviewing the stars as they walk by. His smile is brilliant, but his eyes are lifeless and his heart is aching from the recent split. The pain so raw it all could have happened just two minutes ago.

***

The year Harry auditioned for X Factor UK Louis was assigned to produce all of his pre-taped segments. Including his video diaries and all of his interviews from the pre tryouts onwards. Louis being the producer working with Harry meant they spent quite a bit of time together and it was obvious early on that their connection went beyond the standard producer contestant relationship. Still, because of the possible improprieties and conflicts Louis and Harry kept their interactions strictly professional. Lucky for them fate stepped in.

In the middle of the first week of the live shows Louis was offered a job as senior producer on a popular game show based in London. He snapped up the offer because of the better pay and hours, and after serving a two week notice he left _X Factor_ , but he kept in touch with Harry through texts and phone calls, sometimes talking all night if their free time allowed. Un surprisingly the communication quickly progressed to them hanging out together when they could.

Louis had just come off a three year relationship with a girl he’d been with since university, and at twenty two he’d only been in two serious relationships, both times with girls. Harry knew from as far back as he could remember that he liked boys and refused to hide it. Even proclaiming it in the pre tryout X Factor interview with Louis standing to the side looking like he very much approved of the public confession. When the interview aired Harry’s admission wasn't cut, and despite some warning from the higher ups, he received much more support than hate. It didn't hurt his place in the competition either. He hurtled past the auditions.

Louis was the first to put a label on their relationship, calling Harry the best friend he'd ever had, and while Harry returned the sentiment it was way more than a friendship for him. He wasn't used to hiding his feelings. He only knew how to be honest and he confessed his attraction almost two weeks before the semifinals to an unsuspecting Louis. To his credit he only looked shock for a few seconds before gently telling Harry he wasn't gay and that he didn’t think of him that way.

Harry accepted the rejection despite being hurt by it and he was quick to assure Louis he was fine, but he knew when someone was attracted to him. At twenty years old he'd been involved with enough people to read the signs, and Louis displayed each one and more. Despite that Harry never attempted to cross any of the boundaries the Louis set and that made it shockingly easy to be just friends. That's outside of their questionable tendency to touch and hug each other.

Harry likes to think he would've been satisfied with that. He'd never had a friend like Louis and he didn't want to lose him. but it all changed in a big way the night Harry was voted into the finals. 

***

Louis had more free time because the game show only filmed three days out of the week and it was common for him to visit Harry on the _X Factor_ set. Or to be in the audience on performance nights which is where he was when the results for the top two finalists were announced.

After getting the all clear to leave the stage with the other finalist Harry rushed off to call his mum with the news and when Louis found him he was in one of the interview rooms talking excitedly on the phone. He immediately turned around to leave, but Harry waived him back with his hand, quickly ending the call with Anne, promising to call her back and as soon as he put the phone down he barreled into Louis, picking the startled producer up and swinging him around.

Still pumped from the announcement Harry set Louis back on his feet and unthinkingly jerked him close for a full on kiss, sloppily moving his lips over his friend’s before Louis pushed him away with a gasp and a look of distress. His eyes were panicked as he shook his head in denial, but just as Harry was about to apologize Louis rushed into him, pulling his head down until their lips were touching again.

He kissed with desperation and thirst, and Harry had been more than happy to let him drink, returning the kiss with equal need. They were both breathless when they pulled back and Harry was so caught up in the moment he only realized then that he’d pushed Louis up against the out of place cupboards in the room. Seconds later the very producer who’d taken Louis’ place and a cameraman found them in the same position.

Harry was standing in front of Louis with his hand was resting on the wood above his head and for reasons only known to the new producer they started the interview, ignoring or purposefully filming Louis as well. The entire time he looked like he was two seconds away from kissing Harry again, and Harry’s eyes continued to move from the camera back to Louis as he answered the questions. When the video aired the next week rumors of a relationship between Harry Styles and former _X Factor_ producer Louis Tomlinson started. Some even falsely reporting Louis had been let go from the show because of the relationship.

When Harry lost the finals the rumors took on a fever pitch after a clip of him rushing off the stage into Louis’ open arms made it into one the video diary's of the _X Factor _tour.__

__

***

__

As passionate as the first kiss was and even the few they shared afterwards Harry and Louis still had a rocky beginning to their relationship.

__

Louis had more than a little trouble coming to terms with his sexuality. It didn't help that Harry had to leave for the _X Factor tour_ almost immediately after taping ended. In addition he signed with Nocturnal Records right after the show’s finale and they wanted to capitalize on his popularity post haste. Because of it work on his first record started immediately after the tour ended.

__

Weaker people would have thrown in the towel with all the problems facing them, but Harry had never been a quitter. He knew from the beginning Louis was worth fighting for, and despite the real issues he was dealing with, Louis fought too. For a while it seemed every step they took forward they would take three backwards.

__

Harry was the first to declare his love, but it took Louis two months to say it back. It took another month before he committed to Harry. It took even more time before all of the walls and arguments he’d built up finally crumbled, but when they did Louis became just as fiercely dedicated to their relationship as Harry was.

__

They decided together not to hide their much speculated on love affair from the public eye. In turn they quickly became one of the hottest and most adored couples in the entertainment industry, and while Louis didn't exactly embrace the spotlight he didn't shy away from it because it was a part of who and what his boyfriend was. Somehow they made it work. They managed to build something rare and good.

__

That is until Harry threw it all away on the single most regretted night of his life.

__

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading. xx


	2. Uhm Chris Brown I Think

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have absolutely no idea of the behind the scenes workingss of the Grammy's. It's probably obvious, but all of it is my imagination.

Harry's personal security guard and tour manager Paul Higgins is right on his heels when he stops in front of Billy Bush from _Entertainment Tonight_.

Harry doesn't want to do any interviews, but he thinks he can handle is the fluff questions he knows he'll get from the reporter. “Hey, Billy. What’s up mate?” he smiles and holding out his hand.

“Hi, Harry,” Billy Bush replies before taking the outstretched hand.

In the background someone screams, “You look amazing, Harry!” and it’s not a lie.

In honor of the occasion Harry chose to forego his usual plaid shirt and ripped jeans. In their place he’s wearing a see through Burberry black silk button up with black dress trousers by the same designer tailored to fit his long legs perfectly. He has on custom made black leather YSL ankle boots and his hair is styled to let the curls just fall freely like he used to wear it before his hair stylist started styling it in a soft quaff. He rarely wears the Stetsons some other country artists, male and female, seem to favor, more often than not Harry uses headbands and headscarves to keep his hair out of his face, but tonight his hair is accessory free.

Some people would've have probably thought it cheesy, but Louis was supposed to wear an identical ensemble to Harry's. Only his was charcoal gray, not black, and it stings Harry to remember how good Louis looked at their last fitting. They even had custom Vans, Louis' shoe of choice, made to match. 

“How does it feel to be nominated for three of the top awards of the night?” Billy Bush probes, regaining Harry’s focus.

“It’s a real dream, but the competition’s pretty amazing.” Harry gives the status quo response before turning to wave at a fan who screams his name, and his heart lurches when the same person screams, "Louis is beautiful too."

“I think your chances are pretty good, man,” the television host grabs his attention again. 

“Thanks a lot, mate. We’ll see how it goes, yeah.”

“Who’s more nervous tonight you or Louis?” is the next question.

“That’s a tough question to answer really,” Harry responds easily, his PR agent Zayn Malik already having prepped him on how to answer questions about his absent ex.

“Maybe we can get a word with Louis after the show?”

The way the question is worded it makes it seem like a real possibility, and while Harry’s schooled expression says who knows, he doesn't give a verbal response. Zayn said he would handle all questions about Louis’ whereabouts tomorrow and Harry is more than willing to let him do it.

“So anyone in particular you looking forward to seeing perform tonight?”

The unoriginal question signals the approaching end to the short interview, and it also throws Harry off a bit. Any anticipation he felt for tonight had long since disappeared and he really doesn't have an answer. He just wants everything to be over with, but saying everyone would sound pretentious. As a result he says the first name that comes to his mind. The last person he'd listened to.

“Uhm, I don't know. Chris Brown I think. I’m really enjoying the music he’s putting out right now,” Harry tells the waiting reporter, shrugging because it's the best he could think of.

“Never a dull performance with him that’s for sure,” the _ET_ reporter responds, and Harry smiles in agreement, the interview already over in his head. “Thanks for stopping by, Harry. And good luck in there tonight."

Billy Bush ends the interview on his side, signaling for the next artist to step up to him and Harry is pushed along, barely getting a chance to thank the reporter. He stops for one more quick interview before he's led, with Paul still behind him, into the main auditorium where ushers are waiting to escort them to their assigned seats. The actual show is set to start in a little over thirty minutes and Harry hopes once it begins he can focus on something other than the pain eating at him.

He waits patiently while Paul hands the valet the card with their seat numbers on them. From there the two of them are led through the auditorium to his assigned seats. All of the nominees are strategically placed to make it easier for them to get to the stage if their name is called, and depending on the view, Harry's seats are the first or last two on their row in the second row of the center section. Paul was originally supposed to sit three rows behind him, but Harry asked him to take Louis’ seat because he didn’t want to share the night with a seat filler.

The auditorium is already filled, the excitement and anticipation in the room is almost tangible. The sea of noise reminds Harry of a rowdy classroom that a teacher can’t control only exponentially louder. He's greeted several times by other people in the industry as they move on, but the only person he stops to chat with is Ed Sheeran. The red headed singer wrote two of the songs on Harry's current cd and who's also nominated for song of the year along with Harry for his song _The A Team._

Ed's success is well deserved and Harry couldn’t be more thrilled for him. "Good luck tonight," he says sincerely after they share a brief hug.

"You know I wouldn't be upset if you won."

From anyone else Harry might question their sincerity, but not Ed, and they talk for a few more minutes before Harry tells his friend he'll catch up with him later. He turns back to Paul and the usher to continue on down the aisle. He spots the 100A and101A signs after he's moved only a short distance, but it takes Harry another few steps to realize that 101A is already occupied. His immediate thought is that the person is a seat filler and that their must have been some miscommunication between his management and the show's producers.

Harry's just about to turn to ask their guide to request that the person move when the man in the seat turns his head and Harry stumble’s when he sees his profile. Paul quickly reaches out to steady him, but the bodyguard can’t do anything to calm Harry’s racing pulse. He looks back at the burly man with a question in his eyes, but Paul only nods and nudges Harry's back to keep him moving.

As he gets closer Harry notices the man’s hair is gelled and slicked back on both sides with a giant swirl in the front. When he’s even closer he sees shoulders above the back of the seat and the obviously expensive gray material covering them. After that it only takes a few more seconds to reach his assigned row.

Harry does everything he can to avoid looking at seat 101A. He thanks the usher, then watches as Paul takes his seat, and that's when he notices Alberto Alvarez sitting next to his bodyguard. At his own insistence, Louis rarely uses security, but on those occasions when it is absolutely necessary they use Alberto. Tonight it would be necessary.

Harry nods at the longtime associate of Paul’s. He receives an acknowledging nod in return. Now he knows without a doubt who's in seat 101A, and unable to put it off any longer, he looks into the striking and expressionless blue eyes of his ex-boyfriend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again thanks for reading.xx


	3. He's Here

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Read Chapter 2 notes. 
> 
> This chapter also contains the memory of the event that led to them breaking up.

Louis gives Harry a guarded smile, but that's it. No other form of a greeting, and aware of where they are, Harry smiles back before taking his seat. He wipes his sweaty palms back and forth on the material covering his thighs to give himself something to do because he can't get over the fact that Louis is sitting beside him. He was so caught up in his problems he didn't give it a thought that none of the reporters on the red carpet asked where Louis was. Now that he thinks about it the _ET_ reporter did sound pretty sure that he might be able to talk to Louis later. Then there was the one reporter who said what a beautiful pair they made.

Walking the red carpet alone is a common practice so it wouldn’t have looked weird to the press or their fans that he did it, but the knowledge does little to ease the squeezing agony in Harry’s chest when it sinks in that Louis chose not to walk the carpet with him, but why would he? The last time Harry talked to him was the night everything exploded, when Louis had accused him of turning their whole relationship into a lie. Even now just thinking about the accusation makes Harry wince because nothing in his life had ever been more true to him than his relationship with Louis.

Harry studies him now in his peripheral vision. He’s always been struck by how amazing Louis’ amazing are. Tonight does nothing to alter the fact. The dark gray of his outfit makes his tan appear more golden than brown and his eyes appear even bluer if possible. The chiseled line of his profile appears more pronounced and his face appears thinner. His trousers are molded to his legs, accentuating his muscular thighs. Harry can only imagine how good his bum looks in the gray pants. He closes his eyes to block out the image, and when he opens them again he finally gathers enough courage to look at Louis square on, but he's met with a quick shake of Louis' head.

Disappointment settles in Harry's gut as he turns back to look at the stage. The heartache is almost suffocating as he recalls the exact reason why Louis doesn't want to talk to him.

***

_For the first time in what seemed like ages Harry finally has some time off from performing and touring, and after the Grammy’s he and Louis plan to cruise the Caribbean in a rented yacht._

_Production for Louis’ game show is set to stop taping two days before the Grammy’s, and won’t start up again until early April. Harry doesn’t plan on heading back to the studio to record again until sometime in May, giving them several weeks to just relax and enjoy each other. Even now Harry's schedule is pretty much empty. The only thing work related he has scheduled until the actual awards are a few pre Grammy interviews which was only reason he’s in LA right now or he'd be at home in Louis like he wants to be._

_Obviously Louis couldn't make the trip because of work, but they've been separated a lot longer than three days so this is nothing; except for the fact that they miss each other terribly. At least Niall was able to fly over with Harry for the two day trip, taking it as an opportunity to catch up with his LA friends, and now with one night left before he's due to fly back home Harry's suffering from jet lag. He's more than a little anxious to get home to get back on schedule, but he's reluctantly accepted an invite from Niall to attend a party in his room. Although, in all honestly if Liam and Zayn wasn't going to be there Harry probably would have made an early night of it._

_Paul made earlier plans to meet up with a friend he only gets to see when they're in LA, and although he wanted to Harry didn’t see the need for him to cancel seeing that all he has to do was step out of his lawyer’s room and walk the fifteen feet to his own when he was ready to leave the small get together. Talking to Louis before heading to Niall’s helped to put him in a better mood, and now that he's in Niall’s room he's relieved that there are only a few people here that he doesn’t know. After a couple of drinks Harry even starts to enjoy himself, especially with no one acting weird that Harry Styles is in the room._

_Niall keeps him entertained when he isn’t mingling, but about two hours in he disappears into his bedroom with a drink in one hand and the hand of a pretty girl in the other. After that Harry mostly sticks with Liam and Zayn, and after six years together they're still so wrapped up in each other it was amazing to watch sometimes._

_Their story is even more romantic considering that Zayn started out as Liam’s client, but after a couple of years of small acting roles and a very successful modeling career he decided that side of the entertainment industry wasn’t for him. So with encouragement from his boyfriend of more than a year Zayn enrolled in USC to major in public relations, and when he graduated, he joined Liam to form Payne and Malik: Management & Public Relations._

_At the time Liam was already successful in his own right, but with the addition of Zayn and a lot of hard work they grew to become one of the most sought after management and PR teams in the business. To date they have offices in LA, New York, and London, but they divide most of their time between LA and London. It was during his search for a manager that Harry met with the pair at the suggestion of his record company. He bonded with them instantly and afterwards he didn't once consider signing with anyone else._

_Harry watches them with envy as Zayn brushes a mythical piece of nothing off of Liam's shoulder. He's all too familiar with making up excuses to touch Louis, and it makes him miss his boyfriend even more._

_They all laugh when Harry tells them how Niall practically invited himself on his and Louis’ upcoming vacation, and how Louis gave in because he’s never been able to refuse Niall anything. Liam even sympathizes with Louis, saying that Niall could convince a vegan to eat a steak cooked in bacon fat, but kidding aside, they all know it's those same aspects of his character that make him a formidable attorney._

_Harry excuses himself to send a quick text to Louis and receiving the thumbs up he invites Liam and Zayn along as well, thinking it'll be a nice getaway for the five of them. The yacht is big enough to give them ample privacy when they want it._

_Zayn and Liam promise to see if they can clear their calendar for the two week excursion and then leave soon afterwards. To Harry's surprise there are only a handful of people left, and considering Niall’s non reappearance he decides it's time for him to call it a night as well._

_Harry leaves after saying goodnight to the two people left that he knows and once he's back in his suite he goes straight to the bedroom to sit down on the bed and remove his boots. He's parched after drinking three rum and cokes so he drains the bottle of water he’d been drinking out of before he left. He takes off his socks, goes to the bathroom to take a piss. He feels a little dizzy by the time he finishes, but he blames the lightheadedness on the three drinks, and he sits back down on the bed to clear his head._

_It's the last thing he remembers until the next morning._

***

_Harry opens unfocussed eyes with no recollection of falling asleep. He's lying atop the hotel comforter, surprised to see that he's only wearing his boxers. He has no recollection of taking off his clothes, but again he blames the drinks from the night before._

_He checks the time, sees that he has a little over two hours before he has to catch his flight, and with sleep heavy limbs he sits up in the bed with the intention of heading for the shower, but as soon as his feet touches the floor a wave of nausea has him running to the bathroom and once he empties his stomach Harry leans against the sink until he stops heaving. He's never had a reaction to alcohol before and it's even more puzzling because he's used to a lot more than he had in Niall's room. The only other alternative is that maybe he's coming down with some sort of bug._

_Harry moves over to the shower and he stands under the warm spray of water until some of the strength that was zapped by the vomiting spell returned, but he's still struggling with exhaustion when he came out of the bathroom. He thinks he might lie back down for another hour or so, but the familiar buzz on his cell phone let's him know he has a message._

_It's too early for it to be Louis, and because that's the only person he'd answer right now Harry decides to get dressed first, but two consecutive buzzes later and with only a clean pair of jeans on he decides to go ahead and read the messages on the chance it is Louis._

_Harry throws on a plaid shirt on without buttoning it up, walks over to the bureau to pick up his phone, frowning when he realizes the number is from an unrecognizable number._

_:Had a really good time last night. You were amazing._

_Harry open the next message, thinking the first one was vague, but not a big deal. Because of the shitty wifi in the hotel he has to wait for it to download and he sits the phone back down on the nightstand to button his shirt while it loads. It's instantly clear that it's a picture, but when Harry finally realizes what he was looking at he picks the phone up only to throw it on the carpeted floor. He stumbles over to the bed, losing track of time while he stares at the phone with a look of terror on his face._

_Finally with a racing heartbeat Harry tentatively gets up from the bed to pick up the phone. He warily opens up the last two messages to find the same picture from different angles. All three snapshots are of a woman straddling him with his hands holding her hips in place. The pictures are full body shots, leaving no doubt that it's Harry, not even counting the fact that he on the same shirt and jeans he wore last night._

_“Fuck, no!” Harry cries out in disbelief, and not knowing what else to do he quickly runs out of his room to go to Niall’s, banging on the door until his lawyer opens it with a sleepy frown on his face, but as soon as Niall notices Harry’s obvious distress he pulls him into his room and over to the sofa._

_Harry shoves the phone at him, not speaking because his throat is closed off and he points until the look on Niall's face mirrors the horror on his._

_“Shit, mate!”_

_“Lou can’t know,” Harry squeaks out, guilt and panic eating a hole in his stomach._

_Niall jumps up from the sofa, runs to his bedroom and came back out fully dressed and not long afterwards the apartment is a flurry of activity. Liam and Zayn arrive first, then Paul. Unsurprisingly all of them display some degree of shock._

_All through it Harry sits unmoving on the sofa, watching detachedly as his friends become his employees. All of them in damage control mode._

_Liam and Zayn are huddled together trying to figure how to spin the photos when or if they were leaked. Niall's on his phone talking quietly, every once and again looking over at Harry with an unreadable expression, and Paul is walking around the room using language that even has Niall was blushing. Which says a lot because the Irishman is known for having a special affinity for swearing. It's quite the scene, but all Harry can think about is getting home to Louis._

_Niall ends his call, goes over to Liam and Zayn, and whatever he tells them has them nodding in agreement, but Harry's thudding heartbeat is drowning out the sound of their voices. Even when the three of them came over to talk to him Liam sounds far off, but Harry does make out that they're taking it as a good sign that nothing's hit the gossip sites or tabloids._

_"Now it's just a game of wait and see, "Liam adds, watching Harry closely. "We just don't have all the cards. The rest are apparently in the hands if the person or persons who sent the pictures. That's why you have to keep quiet until they knew more, okay._

_"I'm sorry, but that includes Louis," Zayn tells him._

_“I can’t keep this from him,” Harry's adamant, reversing his earlier kneejerk assertion. “I don’t remember anything, and I only had three drinks. He’ll understand,” he continues, the panic building in his voice with each rambling word._

_Zayn sits on the arm of the sofa and kneads Harry’s shoulder. “Just give us enough time to see where this is headed before you do anything and maybe hurt Louis unnecessarily,” Liam attempts to explain further._

_“Li, by all appearances I fucked a total stranger last night. Somehow I don’t think I'll get to skate around hurting him,” Harry responds angrily, torn up by even the thought of hurting Louis._

_“Trust us on this, ok? Just for the rest of the day at the most,” Liam ignores the outburst, and rationalizing that he had no other options, Harry nods his agreement. He fucking needs his manager to be right._

_“Good. Now I need you to call Lou, tell him you missed your flight, but you’ll be flying out on the next one available,” Zayn hands Harry his phone, and giving in again he speed dials his boyfriend._

_Louis answers on the third ring with the achingly familiar "Hey, sunshine", but Harry almost loses it when he asks why he missed the original flight. He quickly recovers by saying he overslept._

_Louis accepts the lie easily enough, only telling Harry that he misses him and to hurry home. "Haz?" Louis calls out right before Harry moves the phone away from his ear._

_“Yeah, love?” he responds, cringing at the endearment that all of a sudden it sounds false coming from him._

_“Is everything ok? You sound a bit off,” Louis’ concern is evident in his voice._

_“No, m’ okay, just tired,” Harry answers, and at least that part is true. Even with the shock of the morning's events he still feels droggy._

_“I love you, babe. Get home, will you?”_

_Harry can still hear the concern in Louis’ voice, but more than that he can hear the love. It breaks his heart all over again._

_"I love you, Lou. So much," Harry says before ending the call with tears blurring his vision._

_The next couple of hours pass by in a blur. Liam checks Harry out of the hotel while Paul follows him to his room so he can finish packing. They meet up with Zayn and Liam in the private parking garage both of them hugging Harry tightly._

_Liam promises him that everything will work out and Zayn tells him they'll be coming to London in a couple of days if nothing prevents them. Or causes them to fly out earlier. Harry knows that either way Zayn means if the shit hadn’t hit the fan by then._

_On the way to the airport Paul takes Harry to a medical facility where blood is taken from his arm. Afterward he's instructed to piss in a cup. Harry's pretty sure he's being tested for the presence of drugs in his system and for any sexually transmitted diseases, but condom wrappers were clearly noticeable in all three of the pictures. At least he has that._

_While he's still at the medical facility Louis texts him again to ask if he's really okay. Harry thinks he must have really sounded weird for Louis to still be concerned, but he assures him one more time that he's fine. He's the exact opposite, but Louis can't know that. So when he texts again when Harry's on his way to the airport to tell him that he won't be able to pick him up when he lands Harry replies back to tell him it's no problem. It is though. He needs Louis more than anything._

_Harry blames his semi state of shock of not realizing that Louis didn't respond back to his question asking about the change of plans, and when Niall takes possession of his phone midflight saying he needs to follow up on something, Harry just hands it over without questioning, absently listening while Niall gives him instructions on how to explain the missing phone to Louis._

_Harry has two other phones, but the one Niall has is the only one he communicates with Louis on and he won't buy that Harry left it on the plane. They both know how much Harry values that phone, but it turns out that he doesn’t have to mention the phone to Louis._

__

__

_Two weeks later Harry’s still amazed that out of all the possible scenarios they went over concerning the pictures not one of them considered the scene that played out when he got home._

_“Lou?” Harry calls out as soon he steps into the apartment, more than relieved to be home._

_“In the kitchen, babe.”_

_Harry's used to Louis pouncing on him the minute he walks through the door even if they've only been apart for one night. He doesn't today, but right now Harry's too exhausted to realize the significance of it. All he can think about is walking over to where Louis is standing at the kitchen sink._

_Louis doesn't turn around, even when he has to sense Harry's presence behind him. It does click then to Harry that something's off, but his need to have Louis in his arms overrides the his acknowledgment of the weird vibe he's getting._

_Harry wraps his arms around Louis’ waist and he breaths in a sigh of relief when Louis leans back into him. “How was the trip? Anything interesting come up?” Louis asks, but Harry only shakes his head, refusing to move it from the curve of Louis’ neck and shoulder. He thinks Louis is bringing his own arms up to return the hug, instead he moves out of the embrace, still with his back turned._

_“Love, would you get my phone off the table and unlock it while I dry my hands?”_

_Since they both know the codes to each other’s phone it doesn’t occur to Harry that Louis could have opened his own phone after he dried his hands. He puts the four digit number in, then reaches out to give the phone to Louis, but he just happens to look at the screen._

_Harry's eyes widen in alarm as he stares at the same image he found on his phone earlier that morning. “Shit!” he gasps as the nightmare suddenly becomes a whole lot scarier._

_Louis finally turns around and when Harry sees the pain in his eyes he has to fight back nausea._

_“Yeah, shit about sums it up, but surely you can come up with something more original than that. How about Fuck no!-- Or what about Motherfucker! Ooh, I even have the title for your next song. I told my boyfriend I was gay, but I stick my dick in girls anyway. S’brilliant don’t you think?” Louis cries._

_“Louis, please," Harry begs. For what he doesn't know._

_“Please what, Harry? Please listen while you try to explain this? Well seeing as I’ve had the pictures for over ten hours, which if I’m calculating right is over six hundred minutes. That’s more than six hundred minutes without so much as an, I have to talk to you, Lou. So, no, I don’t believe I’m interested in any explanations now!” Louis shrieks before pushing past Harry to pull out a chair then sitting in it. “Or maybe it’s please, babe, I’m sorry I messed up. Well, I’m sorry to inform you, but this ranks as a colossal fuck up in my book,” he says, his voice thick with emotion. “No pun intended."_

_“Louis, you have to believe me. I really don’t know what happened,” Harry pleads, tears starting fall._

_“It just so happens that I can help you with that,” Louis spits out before swiping his finger over the phone and turning it towards Harry._

_He's still standing up so he has to look down to see what Louis is showing him, and again it's one of the same pictures that was sent to his phone. So is the next one, but that quickly changes. Louis swipes again and again and again. Each time a different picture Harry that hasn't seen before, each one more graphic than the other._

_In one of them Harry’s hands are squeezing bra clad breasts, delicate hands with pink painted nails covering his, but like in all the rest, the person's head is out of the shot. At least the short skirt she's wearing spares them from an actual shot of the act in another one of the pictures, but Harry's hands gripping his apparent one night stand's hips eliminate the need for graphics. The last picture shows the stranger he cheated with leaning over him, gripping his shoulders, this time long blonde hair obscuring her face._

_“Oh, looky. This is brilliant and so original,” Louis snipes as he shows Harry a text._

_Private Number: I know where Harry was last night. Do you?_

_“I was so confused. I believed the message was some kind of joke, but the first picture came through. Then I thought maybe I’m having a nightmare so I pinched myself really hard. It hurt so there went that theory, but still I knew there had to be an explanation because you wouldn’t do that to me. Not the Harry who knows I gave up everything I believed about myself to be with him. Not the Harry who saw how hard that was for me, the same Harry who fought for me while I came to terms with it. Not the Harry who knows I love him more than my own life,” Louis is crying hard, crushing Harry more and more with every word. “Then I received the other pictures, and you know how the rest goes, don’t you?” he wipes at his eyes again, his face his still wet when he moves his hand away._

_“I’m so sorry, Louis," Harry apologizes, and apparently it's the wrong thing to do._

_“No, Harry. I’m the one who’s sorry. I’m sorry I ever trusted you. I’m sorry I believed you when you said I was it for you, but I’m mostly gutted that in one night you turned our relationship into a meaningless lie,” he says angrily, crying harder._

_“Don’t say that, please. You know it hasn’t been a lie. I love you more than anything,” Harry's desperate to get through to Louis and it comes through in his voice._

_“No, I don’t know it. I have pictures that say otherwise,” Louis replies, the anger in his voice changing to sadness and resignation._

_“I wasn’t even that drunk. I can’t remember any of it. You have to see that something’s not right about this,” Harry pleads, begging._

_Louis lets out a small hysterical laugh. “I think that just might be the understatement of the year, mate,” he retorts, glaring at Harry through his tears._

_“Louis,” Harry moans, but Louis ignores him._

_“I’m going to stay at Eleanor’s for a few days. I would appreciate if you weren’t here when I returned, but I’ll need just enough time to figure out my next move," Louis requests dully._

_Harry's positive Louis is intentionally trying to hurt him. Eleanor Calder was Louis' college sweetheart, and he knows it bothers Harry that he' remained close friends with her. “Please, don’t do this. Don’t go," he wants to add to her, but he knows it'll be the most ironic thing he he's ever said._

_“My bag is already in the boot of my car,” Louis claims with finality. He gets up from the table without looking at Harry. "Please, tell me last night was the first time,” he pauses before walking out of the kitchen._

_“Louis, it's been you and only you almost from the second I first saw you. There never has, not once, been anybody else. You’re all I want,” Harry chokes out, hurting more than he ever thought possible._

_"Then what happened last night?” Louis whispers brokenly before leaving._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again for reading.xx


	4. Baby When You Shine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Contains Harry's performance of a cringeworthy song, but it sounds Country. At least it did in my head.

That was the last time Harry saw or talked to Louis before tonight.

When he left the apartment Harry stood unmoving with tears falling until he didn't have anymore left, and before leaving the kitchen he splashed his face with water, called Niall to tell him about the pictures on Louis' phone including the ones he hadn’t seen before, adding somewhere in the conversation that Louis left him .

Niall was noticeably quiet before he apologized, and then he told Harry the other pictures were on his phone too, but Zayn and Liam decided he'd already had enough shock that morning so they decided against showing them to him.

Harry accepted the explanation and apology, but he was done with the conversation so he hung up. He took a shower, crawled under the covers when he finished, and immediately fell into an exhausted sleep. He woke up the next morning to find Niall snoring quietly beside him.

For a few pulse racing seconds Harry thought it was Louis. When he realized who it was he had to cover his mouth to keep from crying out.

Liam and Zayn arrived later the same afternoon, but Harry didn't want or need them to tell him why they flew over a day early.

Always the more affectionate one, Zayn grabbed Harry when he came through the door and he wouldn’t let go until Harry responded to the embrace.

Liam and Zayn felt guilty for keeping him from telling Louis everything from the start, but by then Harry had accepted that it would have ended the same whether he told him or not.

Harry only wanted to be left alone, and to his relief Niall left later that evening, but Liam and Zayn stayed for three days, during which Harry probably called or texted Louis over a hundred times with no response. He only stopped trying because his calls started going directly to voicemail. 

***

Harry absently glances around the auditorium, wondering why Louis bothered to show up if he was going to refuse to talk. Thankfully a voice traveling over the huge room interrupts their strained non communication, asking for total quiet and for cell phones to be turned off.

The excited chatter continues despite the request, but now it's low enough to be drowned out by the announcer saying, “Welcome to the 55th Grammy Awards!” immediately followed by the start of _“I knew You Were Trouble’_ by Taylor Swift, and out his peripheral vision Harry can see Louis purse his lips distastefully. He's not a fan of the singer, so much so that he joked the possibility of gagging during her performance. 

Unable to stop himself, Harry glances over at his ex, This time Louis smiles, but his eyes remain on the stage, and no gagging.

When Taylor Smith finishes her elaborate production, Jimmy Kimmel, this year's host, walks out on a different stage. He waits for the booming applause to end before officially starting the show and after his opening monologue the first presenters of the night are announced.

The awards Harry’s nominated for are given out near the end of the show because it allows him to enjoy the other presentations and performances as much as he can.

Over an hour into the ceremony Chris Brown takes the stage, and as predicted he does not disappoint, receiving a rousing standing ovation when his performance is over. Three awards later Blake Shelton and Adam Levine are introduced to present the Grammy for Country Song of the Year.

Harry’s stomach is instantly nervous when he hears the names of the nominees pitted against him. He’s been nominated for numerous awards before, he's even won two AMA’s, a CMA, and a Brit, but it never gets old. He's still amazed every time his name is read. If things were different he’d be holding Louis’ hand pretty tightly right now, but he settle's for gripping the arm rest while the winner is announced.

“You know what I really love you, man,” Blake tells the Maroon 5 lead singer, stalling before opening the envelope and playing up their bromance.

“You pick the damndest times to express your feelings,” Adam responds back, faking embarrassment, “but I love you too, you big oaf. Now open the damn envelope,” and the Voice cohost and country star makes a big show of doing just that.

“The Grammy goes to …… _Mean!_ Taylor Swift!

Harry hadn’t really planned on winning for Country Song, but he is a little disappointed. Still he applauds as the country singer takes the stage to snidely thank one of her many past boyfriends for being her inspiration.

Louis turns to him then, lifting his eyebrows and pursing his lips as if to say I told you she'd pull some crap like this.

The acknowledgement isn’t much by any stretch of the imagination, but it's enough to give Harry a tiny spark of hope. He nods his agreement with Louis' silent assessment, but that's it as far as communication goes.

Louis doesn't acknowledge him again, and almost an hour later another escort is at Harry's seat to lead him backstage for his performance. He braves another glance at Louis before getting up. He's rewarded with a small smile and a mouthed good luck. He whispers thank you with a racing pulse.

Paul follows Harry backstage although it’s not necessary, but he’s been extra diligent since that fateful night, almost hovering over Harry in an attempt to make up for something that wasn't his fault.

There are several people milling about backstage, and Harry instantly spots Rod Stewart. He still can't get over the fact that the musical legend would be introducing him.

Rod Stewart waves big when he spots Harry. They’ve only met twice to discuss a possible duet, but both meetings resulted in hundreds of photos taken by paparazzi and subsequently the media falsely labeled them friends. 

“Hi, Mr. Stewart,” Harry greets the iconic rocker.

“The name’s Rod for the hundredth time,” he demands, but Harry’s mum raised him to be respectful so the command falls on deaf ears.

“Thank you for doing this,” Harry says instead.

“My pleasure. Almost a year later and I still can’t get your fucking song out of my head,” Rod Stewart rasps.

Harry is nominated for and performing a shortened version of his megahit _When You Shine_ , and he smiles at the compliment.

He has time for another quick handshake before a woman with a walkie talkie comes to inform the older singer that he has one minute before he has to go on stage. After a quick goodbye Harry's led to the stark set where he'll be performing.

His performance won't be over the top like some of the ones he’s seen tonight. Even his wardrobe is nothing noteworthy. The only change is the olive colored headscarf he’s put on to keep his hair out of his face while he's playing his guitar.

He’ll start with a shorter version of _‘When You Shine’_ , then perform an acoustic version of his current hit _‘They Don’t Know About Us’_. 

The set design teams have strategically placed giant monitors across the stage that stand side by side and are at least fifteen feet tall and are four feet across. While Harry sings famous and non-famous couples will flash across each screen and at the end of his performance all of the monitors will display the hug between him and Louis that was captured after his _X Factor_ loss.

Louis was the inspiration for the song, and Harry thought the idea for the screens was brilliant when it was presented to him. Only now he regrets wanting to surprise Louis and not telling him about it. To their fans they're still a couple so the performance has to continue as planned, and as soon as Harry sits on the stool the in the middle of the stage the set goes completely dark except for the thousands of small white LED lights in the ceiling that look like stars casting an ethereal glow over the set. He hears Rod Stewart beginning his introduction and a couple of minutes later a very raspy, “Ladies and gents I give you, Harry Styles!”

The applause is thunderous as the curtain parts. Harry smiles at the audience and no one in particular, immediately strumming the opening chords of _‘When You Shine’._

_“When you shine, I shine. When you shine, I shine,”_ he begins, and the audience goes wild. Harry nods in response to the reaction and continues singing.

_“The joy in your heart is the smile on my face._  
_The air that you breathe are the breaths I take.”_  
_“The tears in your eyes are the ones that I cry, and your love is the drug that keeps me high____.”_ He draws the last word out before transitioning to the chorus.

_“Cause baby, when you shine I shine, and darlin' when you laugh I laugh.”_

_“Baby, when you cry I cry, and darlin' cause you love I’m loved._

_“I’m only happy when you’re next to me. Our making love is sweet ecstasy.”_

_“When you shine, I shine. When you shine, I shine.”_

Harry sits his guitar down, gets up from the stool and takes the microphone out of the stand before standing up. He holds the mic out, encouraging the audience to sing along, and in no time the auditorium is filled with hundreds of voices singing Louis' song.

_“Cause baby when you shine I shine, and darlin' when you laugh I laugh.”_

_“Baby when you cry I cry, and darlin' cause you love I’m loved._

_“I’m only happy when you’re next to me. Our making love is sweet ecstasy.”_

_“When you shine, I shine. When you shine, I shine.”_

He goes back to the stool, picks up his guitar to take over the song once again, ending it with:

_“When you shine, I shine. Baby when you shine, I....shine....,”_ he holds the last notes, the grit and break in his voice making the ending both heart wrenching and exhilarating. He takes a quick bow to more thunderous applause, but instead of transitioning into _They Don’t Know About Us,_ like he's supposed to Harry makes the quick decision to sing a song he wrote at a really dark time in his and Louis’ relationship. 

They had still been in the tenuous beginning of things, and after several close calls Louis finally gave in and let Harry make love to him for the first time, but it freaked him out. He later told Harry it felt like he was saying goodbye to the last part of the person he thought he was. As a result of his meltdown he had refused to talk to Harry about it. He refused to talk to Harry at all.

Harry had been in town between tour dates, and he had to leave Louis with everything up in the air. Already in love, _Don’t Let Me Go_ was the result of Harry's pain and uncertainty of where things were headed with them, and the frustration of having to travel when he needed to be with Louis.

Unbeknownst to him Louis was just as lost, but he showed up unannounced to Harry's hotel room in Paris a month later. He tearfully explained why he ran and told Harry he was in love with him for the first time. It was another beginning for them, a more solid one and the song had been filed away. Almost forgotten about.

Harry really hadn’t thought about it since, but his heart remembers it well and the words start spilling from his mouth.

_“Now you were standing there right in front of me.”_

_“I hold on, it's getting harder to breathe.”_

_“All of a sudden these lights are blinding me.”_

_“I never noticed how bright they would be.”_

He managed to fleetingly glance at his ex during his first song, but the minute he sings the first lines of _Don’t Let Me Go_ his gaze connects with Louis and stays there for most of the performance.

_“I'll keep my eyes wide open.”_

_“I'll keep my arms wide open.”_

_“Don't let me.”_

_“Don't let me.”_

_“Don't let me go.”_

_“Cause I'm tired of feeling alone.”_

When Harry sings the last line _“Cause I’m tired of sleeping alone”_ , a single tear slides down the side of his face and it turns to two when he turns to see the photos of him and Louis on the giant monitors. The applause is more deafening than before, and Harry says thank you as many time as he can before the curtains begin to close on him. He’s too frightened to look at Louis again, and he loses the chance altogether as the huge curtains close completely. He’s aware that he just poured his heart out for the world to see. Harry knows he'll probably be the subject of more than a few headlines tomorrow, but without confirmation all it would amount to is speculation. Zayn is a marvel at handling speculation. It helps that Louis is here.

The stage crew begins working to transform the set for the next performance, and Harry walks off to join Paul, who's waiting for right off stage. They're directed to an area adjacent to where the awards are being presented, and as soon as he’s in place, Harry hears the names for Song of the Year being announced.

He was instructed beforehand that the presentation would take place immediately after his performance, and a man with a beard to rival Grizzly Adams is standing in front of him with a huge camera resting on his shoulder. He begins to countdown from thirty when the presenter says “Ed Sheeran…. _The A Team_ ,” followed by a sound bite of the song.

When the cameraman gets to zero he points the camera directly at the Harry at the same time they hear “and Harry Styles… _When You Shine _.”__

His name is the last in the category and after the snippet of his song is played the presenters announce the winner.

“And the Grammy goes to (pause) Harry Styles!… _When You Shine!”_

When Harry first heard of the nomination he didn’t allow himself to even consider winning, and hearing his name called leaves him dazed as he moves onto the stage to accept the win.

Pete Wentz holds out the award while the rest of Fall Out Boy look on. They all shake Harry's hand and congratulate him before moving to the side when he moves to the microphone.

“I want to thank the best fans in the world, my dad and my mum for placing the love of country music in me, everyone at Nocturnal Records, my manager Liam Payne, my publicist Zayn Malik, my attorney Niall Horan, and a very special thank you to Louis Tomlinson. I don't have to tell you why.” 

Harry risks a glance at his ex-lover. He receives a jolt to the heart when he finds Louis staring right back at him with a small smile on his face. After that Harry doesn't care that their exchange is being broadcast on millions of television screens across America because all he can think about is the fact that Louis has smiled at him three times tonight. The reality of it causes him to smile exuberantly as he holds the Grammy up to the audience while he walks off the stage to another round of thunderous applause. 

Paul congratulates Harry by lifting him off the floor and giving him a crushing hug. After filling out the forms to have the award the engraved Harry and his bodyguard are escorted back to their seats where Louis meets him with another small lift of his mouth. Harry soaks it up.

Justin Timberlake takes the stage to perform immediately after the show resumes, and while Harry is absently rocking along to the beat of _Mirrors_ he feels Louis’ hand cover his.

“Congratulations, Haz,” he whispers in Harry’s ear.

When Harry turns to say thank you he loses the ability to speak. Everything and everyone in the room fades away and neither of them move to break the eye contact until the applause for the former ‘N Sync frontman intrudes on the moment.

Louis untangles their fingers to join in on the appreciation, but Harry is too stunned by the fact that Louis actually held his hand. The broken part of him can’t help but wonder if it's all for the cameras. The uncertainty prevents him from reaching for Louis again when the commotion for the performance dies down.

Harry’s still lost in his thoughts when he hears the announcement for Record of the Year.

He's ecstatic with his win for Song of the Year, but Record of the Year is the one he really covets because not only did he write and arrange _When You Shine_ , but he produced it too. To be recognized in that area would open doors for him to do more producing in the future. Maybe for other artists as well.

He smiles when his name is announced, mainly because a camera is in his face. Louis must sense his anxiety because he grabs Harry’s hand again. It counts for something because Louis did it after the cameraman moves on to his next victim. Harry turns his own trembling hand over so that he's able to hold on tight as Kelly Clarkson opens the envelope containing the name of the winner.

The _Catching My Breath_ singer gives an enthusiastic “Yes!” and a fist pump before screaming, “Harry Styles _When You Shine!”_

Harry hears his name, but it doesn't really sink in until Louis, who's standing with the rest of the audience, nudges his foot. Only then does he jump up from his seat. Caught up in the excitement he jerks Louis to his chest and buries his face in his neck. There's no visible awkwardness as the Louis returns the embrace.

Harry reluctantly pulls back, and again without thinking he brings his hands up to grab Louis’ face before leaning down to kiss him hard. Louis briefly presses into him before he steps back to point and forcibly turn Harry towards the stage, much to the enjoyment of the audience. Still he looks at Louis for reassurance one more time before he moves and by the time he makes it to the stage the smile on his face matches the one in his eyes.

Harry takes the award and gives Kelly Clarkson a brief hug before turning to the microphone for his second time. When the applause ends he repeats the acceptance speech he gave earlier, but buoyed by the hand holding, the smiles, and the brief kiss he finishes with what he wrote in the original speech.

“And to Louis Tomlinson, my love, my life, my soulmate and my reason for this song. This is for you,” he holds the Grammy up and can’t control the tears that form in his eyes as he seeks out seat 101. From where Harry’s standing Louis’ eyes look suspiciously moist too. Harry blows a kiss to the audience as he exits the stage. It's really for Louis though. He hopes Louis realizes it.

Paul's waiting for Harry again, and as soon as they repeat the same steps as before Harry anxiously heads back to his seat. He reaches for Louis’ unresisting hand the minute he sits down and their fingers stay linked until the closing music starts playing.

Harry has to do a few post show interviews and he reluctantly turns to Louis to thank him for coming, but before he can get a word out Paul and Alberto appear beside his seat.

“Please don’t leave,” Harry whispers, pleading. He thinks Louis agrees with an almost unnoticeable nod. It may have been just wishful thinking on Harry's part, and not wanting to push it Harry stands to follow Paul, but when he looks back Louis is still sitting and trailing him with his eyes.

He does three of the interviews, the last one seeming to take a lifetime. He breathes a heavy sigh of relief when it finally ends.

As per usual Paul is instantly by Harry's side and he leads his client out of the auditorium to a fleet of waiting limos and SUV’s.

When they work together, Paul and Alberto are in constant communication. So far Paul hasn't even used his phone and not knowing if Louis stayed is making Harry a nervous wreck.

“Louis?” he asks, and the big man turns to give him an understanding smile.

“He’s in the car waiting for you, mate,” Paul informs him.

Harry's legs almost give out, but the thought of Louis waiting for him keeps him upright. “Okay,” he responds.

Somehow he managed to keep his tone even, but for the first time in two weeks Harry feels hope.


	5. For That I'm the One Who's Sorry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains the unprotected and terribly written smut. Also no use of protection and what could be considered dubious consent. My apologies in advance.

Louis and Alberto are already sitting on the same seat when Paul holds the door open for Harry to climb in the limo. That leaves the one across from them for him and Paul.

Louis doesn't so much as blink an eye when Harry sinks into the space directly across from him. He continues to stare out the window, and no one talks while Paul taps the glass partition to inform the driver that they're going straight to the hotel instead of the after parties Harry had originally planned on attending.

If it weren't for the parties that last all night in some instances he would be headed to the airport right now, on his way to seek solace in his house in Miami. Harry sneaks a glance at Louis, thinking maybe he won't have to make the trip alone now.

When the driver lets the dividing panel back up Paul gives Harry his phone before he starts to talk quietly to Alberto. The car sits for about five minutes before getting the clear to leave, and when they begin making the slow exit from the auditorium Harry decides to check his messages. He has over a hundred texts, but he only responds to his and Louis' mum, his sister, Ed, Niall, Liam and Zayn.

Liam added that there was nothing new to report, and Harry realizes he hasn't given the photos hardly any thought. In the weeks since the incident they haven't heard anything causing Liam and Zayn to think that whoever took the pictures may have been waiting for a night like tonight to expose them.

Harry's relieved by the message, but he's also aware that the night is far from over. He just can't dwell on it right now, not when the man who owns his heart and soul, the man he thought he had lost for good is actually sitting in the same car with him.

Of course Louis could just be here to keep the gossip at bay. It would've looked strange if they had left the venue separately. Is it even known that they didn't arrive together? The thoughts make Harry frown and stares out of the same window as Louis, absently watching the city lights go by in a haze as the limo travels down the freeway already crowded with other vehicles leaving the awards show.

After a few minutes Harry doesn't even pretend to be looking at the cities landscape. All his focus is on Louis’ reflection in the mirror like tint on the window. He's unprepared when Louis' eyes connect with his through the dark glass. Harry's even more unprepared for the dark heat he finds in the blue orbs. He slowly peels his eyes away from the window to look at Louis full on, already finding Louis' eyes on him and there's nothing coy in the way Louis slowly swipes his tongue over his bottom lip.

Harry raises his eyebrows questioningly. Louis responds with a similar gesture, and Harry's pants are a little tighter around the crotch by the time the limo pulls into the hotel's private garage. Harry knows that they need to talk about everything, but he doesn't need the telling flush to Louis' skin to know that talking is going to have to wait.

Harry makes an attempt to exit the car calmly, but it's an effort. The seclusion of the parking area keeps them away from invasive eyes and cameras as he and Louis follow Paul and Alberto to the private elevators.

Harry has no idea were Alberto is staying. On another night he'd care, but not tonight, and by the time he shuts the door to his suite he's having trouble catching his breath. Louis is turned away from him, looking at who knows what, and Harry can tell by the rapid rise and fall of the muscles in his back that he's having the same breathing problem.

“Louis,” Harry sighs, but Louis shakes his head, slowly at first then faster.

“Don’t talk,” he orders before turning around and rushing the few steps it takes to reach Harry at the door. He tugs Harry’s head down to latch on to his lips, licking into his mouth without any sort of preamble. Harry returns the kiss just as forcefully, giving his all to fusing of their mouths together.

It’s always like this when they've been apart. They can’t get enough of each other. Sometimes they're gentle and slow, sometimes it’s rough and passionate. No matter what it's always with the sense of desperation they're displaying right now.

Louis doesn't resist when Harry moves away from the door and cups his bottom to lift him up. He helps by wrapping his legs around Harry’s waist, attempting to continue his feast on Harry’s mouth, but Harry has to pull back to keep them from crashing and falling on their way to the bedroom. Undeterred, Louis trails kisses down Harry’s jaw before latching onto the pulse at Harry’s neck.

When they get to the bedroom Harry sets Louis on his feet and brings his hand up with the intention of caressing his face, but Louis intercepts him. He pushes the hand back down to Harry’s side and begins to undo the buttons on his shirt, holding Harry spellbound until he frees the last button on the gray silk. Harry only remembers how to move when Louis goes for the hidden clasp on his trousers. He hurriedly erases the space between them, gently knocking Louis’ hands out of the way. He releases the clasp, slides the zipper down then grips Louis' hand to lead him over to the queen sized bed.

Harry sits down, guides Louis between his legs and leans in to cover his chest and stomach with lights kisses. His moves further down, licking just above the elastic band of Louis’ underwear at the same time he palms Louis through his pants.

“Yeah,” Louis sighs as Harry slides the pants and trousers down in one move. Harry feels like he's about to burst out of his own slacks, so much so that he stands up and quickly removes his own clothes. He pulls Louis back between his legs when he sits down again and lowers his head to trail more wet kisses across his quivering lower belly. 

Louis' sharp intake of breath when Harry begins he lick around the head of his straining cock sends Harry's pulse into overdrive. He glides his tongue up and down the underside of the engorged appendage, savoring the taste. He moves his head back and forth in the slow rhythm that he knows drives Louis crazy. He’s rewarded with a guttural moan. 

Louis latches onto the hair at the back of Harry's head, making keening sounds that go straight to the pit of Harry's stomach. The need for some type of relief has him pumping his own cock while he holds Louis steady with the other.

Louis unexpectedly thrusts into Harry's mouth, causing him to gag, but not enough to pull off. Instead he tries to take Louis all the way down. He looks up with watery eyes to give him permission to move.

Harry tries to take matters into his own hands when Louis only looks at him with an unreadable expression, and before he can start sucking again Louis pulls all of the way out, triggering Harry to whimper at the loss.

Ignoring the protest, Louis pushes Harry down onto his back, leaving his feet on the floor. He straddles Harry before he bends to suck on his swollen pink lips. He briefly licks into Harry’s mouth, breaking the contact to trail a path of kisses to Harry's ear, biting and sucking on the ear lobe until Harry is bucking off the bed. Harry moves even wilder when Louis reaches back to grasp his hardness.

“M’gonna ride you,” Louis whispers nastily in Harry’s in flamed ear.

“Please,” Harry begs in response, but just as quickly he remembers he isn't prepared for this. “Do you have anything?” he asks, hoping desperately that his does.

Louis shakes his head before sitting up. Harry tries to ignore the disappointment rising in him that turns to shock when Louis slides back and positions himself to carry on. Being in a committed relationship they've done it sans condoms on a few occasions, but never without preparation, and never with the question of infidelity hanging over their head.

Harry got a clean bill of health from the medical clinic, but he still has to be tested again in six months, and despite the visible condom wrapper in the pictures he's still unwilling to take a chance.

“No, Louis. We can't!” he grasps Louis' upper arms to pull him forward, but Louis resists with agony and determination in his eyes.

“Yes, we can. Do you know why? Because I need you to help me forget the pain that's eating me up. The pain you caused, Harry,” Louis accuses, effectively shattering all of Harry's hopes of this being a reunion. At the same time he knows he has to give Louis this.

Still he makes another effort just in case he can get through to Louis. “It’s not safe. I have to be tested again in six months."

“Have you forgotten the condom wrapper so grossly on display in those pictures? Because I remember every detail. Every fucking detail, Harry,” Louis cries brokenly.

Harry doesn't need to hear anymore. "Okay," he complies, bringing two of his finger to his mouth, tears spilling from his own eyes. He covers the digits with spit, knowing it's not a substitute for lube, and when Louis' face contorts after he pushes the first one in Harry tries to stop.

"No!" Louis demands when Harry would have pulled out. "Another other one," he adds through clenched teeth.

Harry reluctantly obeys, proceeding to open Louis up as much as his saliva soaked fingers allows. When Louis tells him he's ready, Harry obeys that order too.

“Fuck!,” Louis cries out before falling onto Harry's chest.

He can tell it's from pain, not pleasure. “Louis, please don’t do this,” he pleads.

“Just don’t move until I tell you to,” Louis instructs needlessly because Harry wouldn’t move even if a gun were held to his head. His cock is a different matter altogether. Louis’ tightness and warmth is close to driving him insane with need. 

Harry doesn’t know how long they stay still, but when Louis whispers “move” his hips thrust up involuntarily, but he stops immediately when Louis moans.

“Move, Harry!” 

“No, Lou. I won’t do this. I can’t,” Harry refuses to participate in this madness.

“Then I will,” Louis begins moving up and down over Harry, slowly at first then faster when his body adjusts.

As hard as he tries to fight it Harry can’t help it when his hips begin to move in tandem with Louis’. Just like he can’t stop the grunts of pleasure escaping from his throat. He only hopes that the moans escaping Louis are from pleasure as well.

“Fuck, yes! Like that,” Louis gasps, easing Harry’s worries a little. He tightens his hold on Louis’ hips, holding him still as he grinds all the way into him.

“Harry,” Louis sounds frantic. He can't move because of Harry’s firm grip on his hips. His head is thrown back with his eyes closed and mouth open. His exposed neck entices Harry to mark it so he lets go of one of Louis’ hips. He uses his now freed hand to pull Louis down by the back of his neck.

Louis hisses as Harry commits to his task, the sound sending Harry closer to the edge as the telling heat starts making its way up his legs.

“Move please,” Louis begs, and three powerful skin slapping thrusts later Harry spills into Louis’ tight heat.

“I love you, Louis. I love you so much,” Harry whimpers before turning his head to connect their mouths, his body shaking from the powerful orgasm.

Caught up in the aftermath of his release it takes Harry a few seconds to realize that Louis isn't kissing him back and that he's gone completely still. Harry opens his eyes and dread seizes him because Louis’ is staring at him through cold eyes.

“You don’t get to say those words to me anymore," Louis uses Harry’s shoulders to push up and off of him. He ignores the sticky mess falling down the back of his thighs as he begins to clumsily put his clothes back on.

“It’s true,” Harry exhorts, but Louis continues getting dressed. His hand is on the door knob when Harry calls out to him. “Then what in the bloody hell was all of this?” he asks, anger and fear making his voice higher.

Reminiscent of the night they broke up, Louis does not turn around when he answers. “This was a lot of things, Harry. It was me stupidly giving into Liam’s and Zayn’s pleas that I come tonight. It was me wanting to be here for you despite everything that’s happened. It was that damned beautiful song," he stops, visibly shuddering. "Most of all it was me trying to forget for one minute this agonizing ache that’s fused to my insides,” he confesses, sounding crushed.

“We can get through this, Louis. Don’t let it ruin us,” Harry begs, getting up from the bed, quickly stepping back into his own pants. "Please."

“I thought I could, especially when I saw you tonight. I’ve missed you so much. I honestly don’t know what to do without you, but no matter how I try I can’t get those pictures out of my head. It’s eating me up inside, and I hate it, Harry. I hate her, whoever she is, but I can’t bring myself to hate you. I still love you. I just don’t think I can be with you anymore,” Louis sounds final as he rips Harry’s hopes and heart to shreds.

In a panic, he hurries over to the door and spins Louis around. “Don’t do this, Lou. I’ve been thinking about this…,” but Louis cuts him off before he can finish.

“Well, I’m happy that you can think, Harry. It feels like I haven’t formed a cohesive thought in two weeks. I don’t know if I’m coming or going, and I can’t breathe. I feel like I’m suffocating all the time. I believed you when you said we had something special, but how can I believe it now?” he reaches up to gently wipe at the tears on Harry’s face, ignoring the ones that refuse to stop falling down his own. “Maybe I could get past it if I tried with someone else. Just one time like you."

“Don’t,” Harry chokes out. “It would kill me,” even the thought splits him open.

Louis laughs a small laugh that turns to a strangled sob. “Then you'll know exactly what you did to me,” he sounds so tortured all Harry can think to do is pull him in his arms.

“I’m so sorry,” he whispers brokenly after Louis’ arms encircle his waist.

“I know you are, Haz, but it doesn’t change anything. For that I’m the one who’s sorry,” Louis says, his voice so distorted with pain it's almost unrecognizable.

They hold onto each other until he pulls away. He leaves the bedroom without looking back.

Harry knows it would be pointless to try and stop him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't hate me.:(


	6. Those Are Your Words Not Mine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some of Harry's fans and a few other people aren't happy with him, and he has to defend himself.

On his second morning in Miami, Harry's lying in bed, staring up at the ceiling, willing himself to go back to sleep. So far he's only managed at most a couple of hours the two nights he's been in Florida.

He started having trouble sleeping after the initial breakup with Louis, but it’s been worse since the night of the Grammy’s. He didn’t sleep the entire night after Louis left his suite, and it must have been obvious to Paul when he knocked on the door at eight sharp to travel with Harry to the airport.

The ride was silent and tense, unasked questions on both sides. Harry couldn't bring himself to respond to the curiosity he saw in Paul's eyes, and he refused to ask the questions about Louis that he desperately wanted to.

The plane ride was just as silent. Paul gave Harry the space he desperately needed and when they finally made it to the secluded villa, Paul wouldn't leave without a promise from Harry that he'd call if he wanted to leave the house for anything. That only after Paul let it be known that he would have rather stayed with Harry, but the offer was quickly refused. Harry wanted to be alone.

Thanks to Helena, the woman they hired to take care of the house year round, there was no need to air it out, and after Harry put his bags in one of the guest bedrooms he sent out quick texts to his mum, Liam, Zayn, and Niall to tell them he made it in safely and that he’d be in touch in a few days. He turned his phone off after sending the last message without waiting for a response from any of the people he reached out to. Two days later he still feels like he's at a minus zero emotionally, but at least he's benefited from the hot Miami sun. He's now sporting a golden tan from spending most of the last two days out on the spacious deck and from walking on the beach.

Harry also made good use out of the lack of human interaction. He's put a great deal of thought into what really happened in LA, and he's come to the conclusion that whatever happened that night he was powerless to stop it. Now he agrees with Niall, Liam, and Zayn that more than likely he was drugged.

For so long all he could focus on was the fact that he cheated on Louis, but now all Harry can think about is finding a way to convince Louis that he would've have never cheated on him willingly. 

Louis filled something in Harry he never knew he needed, something he could never get from anyone else, and in the almost three years they were together he’s never considered hooking up with someone else, despite the many opportunities that have come his way. Men and women throw themselves at him all the time, but no one has ever come close to measuring up to Louis, and there's no way that would change with the small amount of alcohol he'd consumed. That left drugs as the only plausible explanation.

Still there's a small angry part of Harry that thinks the breakup was the right thing for him and Louis. If Louis can believe that Harry would betray him so easily then maybe what they had really wasn't so special. Except it was, and nothing can change that. In Harry's heart Louis will always the other half of his soul. He'll never be anything other than the brave, kind, loving, and generous man Harry fell in love with.

In this instance Louis' generosity can only go so far though. He's not going to pretend to be with Harry forever. They're going to have to announce the separation soon, but at least it won't be today. All Harry has planned to do today is stay in bed and try to get some sleep.

He turns over onto his stomach, buries his head in his pillow and stretches his body out, moaning and shuddering after he relaxes his muscles. His body is responding to the lack of sleep even if his brain refuses to cooperate. He’s counting backwards when the doorbell rings. His initial reaction is to ignore it so he does, but the ringing is persistent.

Harry drags himself out of bed, thinking it could only be Paul at his door this early in the day.

It is.

“I thought was supposed to call if I needed you,” Harry's tone is dry as he steps back to let his bodyguard in.

Paul ignoring the lack of welcome as he heads straight for kitchen with Harry trailing behind him.

“You look like shit, and where’s your phone?”

“Bedroom, why?”

“You need to turn it on, and you need to get dressed. I’ll make you some tea while you take care of that,” Paul's tone leaves nor room for arguing, but Harry is in the mood to argue.

“What the fuck, Paul, and I don’t want tea,” he’s more frustrated than angry at the intrusion of his self-imposed solitude than at the man himself.

“Liam and Zayn have been trying to get in touch with you since last night,” Paul replies, again ignoring Harry’s rudeness.

Dread seizes Harry at the mention of Liam and Zayn's name, and he rushes to turn his phone on without further prompting. He gets dressed with the intention of calling Liam as soon as he's done, but even before the last button on his shirt is done, his phone is ringing with Liam’s face flashing on the screen.

“Li?” 

“Harry, thank goodness,” Liam greets him with relief in his voice.

“Is it the pictures?” Harry asks, and there’s exasperating pause on the line.

“No, it's not the pictures. We’ve been dealing another shit storm,” Liam responds, confusing Harry. “I’ll give you a quick rundown, and then you’ve got to get your ass back out here,” he continues. 

“Just tell me, Liam,” Harry orders with more than a little frustration. What can be so bad if it's not the pictures.

“I hate to lay this on you right now, but a troubling amount of your fans and several antiviolence groups are in an uproar over you picking Chris Brown as your must see artist at the Grammy’s."

“What… Chris Brown?” Harry asks, only vaguely remembering the question and his answer.

“They’re saying you’re insensitive to women’s issues and that you're one of his sympathizers. We’ve tried to control it as best we can without bothering you, but it’s not going away. It started out on Twitter, but the major news organizations have picked it up. Zayn's already released a couple of statements denying it of course, but your disappearance from the public eye is only fanning the flames,” Liam sounds apologetic as he continues to bring Harry up to date.

“Liam, you can't be serious,” Harry's really having trouble wrapping his head around he's hearing.

“It’s been the top entertainment story for the last two days. I'm sorry, but it looks like it's not going away unless you address it personally.” Liam replies, continuing when Harry doesn't say anything. "I’ve already arranged for Matt Lauer from the _Today Show_ to interview you later on this afternoon. We’re lucky he’s already out here to interview Lindsay Lohan. He’s agreed to sit down with you from your hotel room, and the interview will air on _Dateline_ tonight, and again on the _Today Show_ in the morning,” he says as if those particular details are supposed to matter to Harry. “There’s a chartered plane waiting for you at the airport, and you’re scheduled to leave out of Miami at ten."

“I’m flying right back out tonight,” Harry's resigned to the fact that he’s going to have to defend himself against the ridiculousness, but he's unwilling to stay in LA a minute longer than he has to.

“I assumed as much so I arranged for the plane to remain on standby. You’ll be back in Miami before midnight,” Liam informs him.

“Thanks, Liam. I guess I’ll see you guys in a few hours, yeah?” Harry says casually. Maybe too casually.

“Sure thing. Oh and before I forget, Zayn will be waiting for you at the hotel to go over your talking points for the interview,” Liam says, always needing to make sure every t is crossed. “And Harry?”

“Yeah.”

“Keep your head up, ok. I know it doesn’t seem like it now, but you’re gonna come out of this just fine,” Liam assures him.

Harry just wishes he could believe his manager, and he’s running his hands over face when he feels a hand squeeze his shoulder.

How someone so big can move so quietly is beyond him, but Harry gratefully takes the cup of tea Paul is holding out to him.

“Can’t seem to catch a break, can you?”

Harry shrugs his shoulders before bringing the hot liquid to his mouth, blowing on it before taking a sip. “Thanks, P. Sorry about earlier,” he apologizes, but his bodyguard waves his hand dismissively.

“Why don’t you try to rest before we leave for the airport?” Paul suggests, looking like he wants to say more. 

“I just might at that,” Harry agrees, but he knows sleep will be even more elusive now. 

“Everything's not as dark as it seems. Remember that okay,” Paul says before quietly before slipping out of the room.

Harry takes another sip of tea, watching the closed door and wishing he knew the cause of all the positivity being thrown at him.

He tries to follow Paul's advice, but like Harry predicted sleep alludes him, and some twenty minutes later he unwisely decides to search the internet. He's immediately dismayed by the headlines that pop up, one after the other.

_‘Harry Styles Can’t Wait to See Notorious Woman Beater Perform’_

_‘Gay Country Star Clueless on Women’s Issues’_

_‘Abuse is Not a Joke, Harry’_ ’

_‘You Barked Up the Wrong Tree This Time Cowboy.’_

_‘Out of All the Performers in the World, Harry Styles. Really?’_

They go on and on, each title a little more devastating than the previous one. Harry can’t believe that out of all the events of that night, an off the cuff comment is the top story. He closes the computer, unwilling to read anymore of the absurdness.

He attempts to push down the fury building in him.

***

Six hours later Harry’s sitting in a suite at the Chateau Marmont, waiting for the interview to start. Matt Lauer is sitting in a chair diagonal to the sofa Harry’s sitting on, going over notes while powder is being applied to the shiny bald spot on the top of his head.

Harry had to have a lot of concealer to cover the dark spots under his eyes, and he’s still wearing the jeans and plaid button up he threw on this morning. The only additions are a black and white bandana tied around his hair and pair of brown suede ankle boots. At this point, gnawing on his bottom lip and the insistent tapping of his left foot are the only visible signs of Harry's anger at the situation. 

On the flight back to LA he read a few more articles, and he became even more infuriated when he read a particularly nasty piece that said Louis was standing by him, but was ashamed of him at the same time. Harry realizes he should have anticipated Louis being targeted, but the fact does little to temper his increasing anger.

Zayn was waiting for him in the room like Liam said, but instead of going over the talking points he told Harry to just go with his gut. Now he's standing off to Harry’s right talking quietly with Liam. Harry thinks the only person missing is Niall. He's in Australia with another client, but on his last voicemail he told Harry he'd be in Miami on Friday to drag his quote unquote bonny ass out of the house.

“Quiet all around, please!” a man who could pass for a thirteen year old yells from over Matt Lauer’s shoulder.

The morning show host adjusts the mic on his jacket and cracks his neck before posting a fake smile on his face right before the teenish looking director starts to count down. “Five, four, three, two, and one,” and he points at the host while looking down into one of the two cameras in the room.

“Thanks, Lester,” Matt Lauer begins, referring to the host of _Dateline_ , who they've been told will introduce the segment when it airs later tonight, “and good evening to everyone in our viewing audience. With me now is recent Grammy winner and international country music superstar Harry Styles. Harry has graciously agreed to sit down with me in an exclusive interview to address the growing controversy surrounding comments he made on the Grammy red carpet three nights ago. Hi, Harry, thanks for sitting down with me," Matt turns to his guest. Harry only nods. “First, let me congratulate you on your Grammy wins. Must have been a dream come true?”

“Thanks, Matt, and yeah it was,” Harry's not in the mood to expand on the short reply.

“So let’s get to the real reason you’re here, shall we?" Matt Lauer shuffles some of the note cards he's holding before looking into the camera. "You would have to be living under a rock to not have heard about the furor that erupted after Harry commented on national television that Chris Brown was the only artist he wanted to see perform at the Grammy's. Brown is another artist you’d have to be living under a rock to not know the controversy surrounding him, but just in case here's a small reminder,” he says, and when the interview airs they were informed that a side story will be inserted at this point highlighting Chris Brown troubles, but there's no pause to the actual interview.

“Were you shocked at the reaction to your comment, Harry?” but Harry is not fooled by the genial tone.

“First, I never said Chris Brown was the only artist I wanted to see, those are your words not mine. And yes shocked is one word to describe my reaction,” and it gives Harry a little satisfaction to see the hosts lips visibly tighten.

“I stand corrected, but aside from that how do you respond to the outrage?” he looks Harry in the eyes as he asks the question, his forehead crinkled.

“I don’t respond to it at all because it’s ridiculous,” Harry answers, his tone matter of fact.,/P>

Matt Lauer clears his throat. “Your record label has released several statements supporting you, and most recently, your boyfriend of almost two years, Louis Tomlinson, released a statement. I quote _“Harry is one of the most caring and sweetest people I know. How anyone can judge him without really knowing him is unfathomable and foolish to me,”_ end quote. How does it feel to have such support in light of so much public scorn?”

“It’s everything to me, but I wouldn’t expect anything less from the people who really know me and the type of person I am,” Harry answers, giving nothing away in his expression, but he can’t help but be a little shocked by Louis’ statement. That is until he takes a quick look at Zayn. The way he avoids Harry's eyes says it all.

It was a prepared statement, not Louis’ actual words. Of course it was, and the disappointment Harry feels is partly to blame for the contentious way he answers the next question. “You can understand why so many people are upset, can’t you?”

“No, I can’t really,” Harry responds smartly. “Maybe you can explain it to me?”

The question is ignored, although it makes Matt Lauer clear his throat again. Or maybe he was just preparing to ask the next, even more inflaming question. “What do you say to the fans who are saying that you should have stuck to your own kind and picked another country artist instead?”

“I would say that I hope country music is the only implication in that question. Other than that it doesn't even dignify an answer,” Harry responds, amazed that the interviewer would even ask that, but this time the Today Show host appears to be unfazed.

“Still, it has to bother you that some people are saying you’re insensitive to violence against women?”

“I don’t condone violence of any kind, especially against those who can’t defend themselves, and while I don’t feel the need to publicize my every action all it takes is a little research to see that women’s and children’s issues are a priority of mine.”

“Certainly sticking to your guns aren’t you, Harry? I feel that I should give you the last word before we end. Anything you want to say to our millions of viewers, and I’m certain a good number of your fans?”

Yes, Harry does have plenty to say.

“In this business you have to know that your life will constantly be put under a microscope, and for the most part it’s fine. Entertainers are put on these high pedestals, even though most of us don't ask for it, where we're allowed to stay as long we remain ensconced in the perfect images and ideals people have of us." Harry looks directly in Matt Lauer's eyes while he speaks. In his head he can hear Louis say _“Okay Haz, you’re getting a little weird now”_ , but it doesn’t stop him from making his point. “We're all only human, but I think sometimes it's forgotten, especially when we fall off that unasked for petal. Yeah, sometimes we’re judged fairly, but a lot of the times we're not. In this instance, I think I’m being judged unfairly."

"Go on," the interviewer says after Harry pauses, like he knows that Harry's not finished with what he has to say.

He's not.

"Sadly, I think it's mostly people in glass houses making those calls while for the most part their own mistakes stay hidden in their tidy little glass closets. Unfortunately for people in this business we are not afforded that option. By the way, just let me be clear, I think every person who disagreed with my choice has a right to do so, but trying to turn me into a monster is just wrong,” Harry carry's on, not quite finished. “Finally, I would say to let time and actions judge our mistakes. Try to not be one of those people who love living in their glass houses, waiting for someone else to make a mistake so they won't have to focus on their own,” he concludes on a very firm note.

Matt Lauer looks shocked before his obvious skill and experience quickly takeover. “Well, Harry, I think you’ve certainly given a lot of people, including myself, something to think about. Good luck, and thanks again for sitting down with me,” he ends the interview, and Harry ends how he started by only nodding, his eyes and face showing no emotion. “Back to you in the studio, Lester.”

“And cut!” the same person who counted down at the beginning of the interview shouts.

Harry gets up from the couch, taking the hosts extended hand.

"I hope the questions weren't too pushy," Matt Lauer says.

Harry smiles despite the rage clawing at him. "Just doing your job, right?" he responds, knowing none of this is the interviewer's fault. The exchange a few more words before Harry says a final goodbye and makes his way over to Liam and Zayn.

“Good job, Harry. I knew this was the way we should go,” Zayn gives his approval, but Harry already knew he had it.

“I think the jury's still out on that,” Liam is ever careful as he joins in. “But I agree you did great. You made it about you, not about Brown. Thought Lauer was going to pop a blood vessel for a minute there,” he jokes quietly, throwing an arm around Harry's shoulder.

Everything's caving in on Harry. He needs to be on the plane now with his earphones in his ears blasting music from his IPod so he won’t be able to think. “I’ll check in with you guys in a few days if nothing comes up before that,” he says, referring to the ever looming threat of the pictures being exposed. “Maybe when Niall gets in, yeah?”

“Sounds like a plan, and it goes without saying that we’ll be in touch if we need to,” Liam responds.

“Take care of yourself, and you really need to eat, Haz. You’ve got to keep your strength up,” Zayn sounds concerned.

Harry wants to scream at Zayn, his own mum, and any one else who's been badgering him about his eating habits that he can't eat without an appetite. “I will,” he lies.

Keeping up the façade of amiableness, Harry gives Liam and Zayn a brief hug before following Paul out of the door yet again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm cringing with secondhand embarrassment, but what's done is done.


	7. What Have You Done, Haz?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The reunion and more poorly written smut, but protected this time.

It's a little after eleven when Harry walks back through the doors of his house in Miami, angrier than he ever remembers being before.

He locks the door and kicks off his boots before heading straight to the kitchen to make a cup of tea. He absently running water in the kettle before sitting on the burner, his focus is on the rage of being held hostage by the pictures and waiting for whoever took them to play their hand. In his mind the very fact that the pictures were sent to Louis proves there's an ulterior motive. The so called controversy adds to the burning anger, but the fury over losing Louis is the fuel keeping the fire burning strong and hot.

Some of the anger is also directed at his ex because no matter how Harry tries to understand things from Louis' viewpoint he just can't anymore. He gave everything he had to their relationship. Fought for it when Louis would have given up. That should have counted for something, but it didn't, and as a result Louis walked out him when he needed him the most. Maybe what's most painful is Harry knowing that if the roles were reversed he wouldn’t have left Louis. He certainly wouldn’t have given him hope to only snatch it right back and leave more carnage behind. 

The whistle from the kettle startle's Harry, but he's happy to concentrate on something else. He pours the boiling water with an unsteady hand and he picks up the cup of tea with the intention of taking it to the bedroom with him. He doesn't take into account that his hand is still a little trembling, and when a little of the piping hot liquid spills onto the back of his hand he drops the cup on the floor.

Harry jumps back, narrowly avoiding getting tea on his jeans. He stands unmoving, fascinated by the splintered pieces of ceramic until he connects every shard to the broken mess that's his life. Then he loses it. Anything not bolted down or too heavy for him to lift pays the price.

With a frustrated cry Harry swipes his arm across the granite counter top, watching detachedly as two more cups, a toaster, and a bowl of sugar crash to the floor. The microwave is next to suffer Harry's wrath, but he gets angrier when the only thing that breaks is the glass plate inside after he slams it to the floor. Out of pure frustration he starts opening the doors to the cupboards, but he and Louis only come to the Miami home for rest and solitude so there's just a basic service for four set of stoneware dishes in the cabinets. Harry makes quick work of shattering every plate, bowl, and cup, taking immense pleasure in throwing them against the cabinets on the opposite wall.

His face is red from exertion as he opens the remaining cabinets, searching for anything to throw, and when he finds nothing he frantically looks around until he spots the vase of fake flowers on the table. He walks over to the table and lifts the glass vase high over his head before throwing it against one of the cupboard doors with so much force the accompanying growl feels like it is ripping his throat to shreds. He ignores the tea kettle and anything else that won't break. That leaves the refrigerator, and with heavy breaths Harry quickly moves to the and opens the door, but except for a few bottles of water it's empty.

The blast of cold air stuns him back to sanity for all of a brief second before he loses it again. This time with heart wrenching sobs that leave him so breathless he collapses on the floor. His cries are so loud they drown out the worried voice calling his name, and because his hands are covering his face he doesn't see the person behind the voice watching him with a tortured look on his face. Harry’s so lost in his misery it takes him a few seconds to realize that someone has wrapped their arms around him, but when he does he collapses into the embrace.

Since finding the pictures on his phone Harry's allowed his friends to counsel and support him, but he hasn’t allowed himself to be comforted. Now everything in him is crying out for consolation so he wraps his arms around the person offering it, and he holds on tight. He cries harder and his unexpected guest lets.

The person only speaks when Harry's sobs turn to the occasional sniffle, “What have you done, Haz?”

“Louis?” Harry whispers, almost afraid to look up for fear that he heard wrong. “Louis,” and this time it's a tormented moan because his hearing is perfect.

Louis reaches out to wipes away the tears that haven’t dried on Harry’s face before getting up from his squatting position to hold out his hand. “Come on,” he says when Harry doesn't move. "Let's get you up, love," he tries again. 

This time it works.

When Harry's on his feet Louis immediately ropes him into bone crushing hug, but to Harry's dismay he moving away much too quickly.

“Hush,” Louis joins their hands together before leading them out of the kitchen. He's careful to step over the shattered dishes, and seeing the damage he's done Harry wonders how he avoided injury.

By the time they make it to their Louis their bedroom, Harry's embarrassed by his actions, but Louis doesn't give him time to wallow in t. He kicks the door closed once they're inside, and Harry watches while Louis takes his shoes and hoodie off. When he walks back over to Harry, Louis grabs Harry's hand, brings it to his mouth and places gentle kisses over his knuckles.

Stepping in closer Louis takes Harry's free arm and wraps it around his waist. He pulls a dazed Harry's head down and begins to cover his face with even gentler kisses. When he’s covered every inch of skin on Harry's face Louis briefly connects their lips before he moves back to look at Harry. "I'm so sorry, Harry," he says, sounding tortured.

“I need you, Louis,” Harry somehow manages to speak.

“You have me,” Louis mumbles softly, and begins to unbutton Harry's shirt.

Once all the buttons are undone he pushes the shirt off Harry’s shoulders, letting it drop to the floor. He moves to the tab on the tight jeans at the same time he starts sucking at the pulse on Harry’s neck, and when he moans Louis steps back to concentrate on helping him step out of his jeans. 

When Harry's totally nude Louis quickly takes off his own sleeveless tee and jeans. After he's done he guides Harry over to the bed before drawing the blue duvet and top sheet back. Harry follows down on the bed, staying on his side while Louis pulls only the sheet over both of them.

“Am I dreaming?” Harry asks after Louis brings his hand up to caress the side of his face.

“If you were what would you do?” Louis replies sweetly.

Harry lifts up on his elbow, ignoring the anxiety in the pit of his stomach. “I would pull you close,” he places his hand on the small of Louis’ back, doing exactly that. “Then I'd say I love you, and that my life makes absolutely no sense without you. Of course you'd tell me you love me back, and I would kiss you until we can't breathe,” he finishes, the shakiness in his voice matching the nervousness filling his gut.

“I love you back,” Louis says hoarsely, wrapping his arms around Harry’s neck, and then they’re kissing like their lives depend on it. Louis opens his mouth first and Harry eagerly accepts the invitation. He slips his arm under Louis’ side, lightly caressing his back and pressing him even closer.

Louis groans into the kiss, tightening his arms around Harry’s neck, and with their mouths still fused together Harry slides on his back before pulling Louis on top of him. The kiss is interrupted in the process, and Harry stares into Louis' eyes, enjoying the fact that he appears more than a little breathless. He opens his legs wider and rests his feet in the bend behind Louis’ knees. He can feel Louis’ hardness straining against his stomach. His own erection is pushing against Louis’ thigh as he goes back in for another kiss, and when Louis’ eyelids flutter before they close Harry's heart misses a beat.

This time the kiss is slow and sensuous, both of them taking the time to thoroughly explore each other’s mouths, and when they break for some much needed air Louis buries his face in Harry’s neck. He doesn't move until his breathing slows down, and then only to slide his hand in between their bodies to wrap his hand around Harry's cock.

Harry whimpers when Louis begins to make pumping motions and he groans Louis’ name when he drags his thumb across the head, circling and spreading the moisture before pressing in. Harry grabs a handful of Louis' hair before he starts moving his hips in the opposite rhythm of Louis’ hand.

Louis trails kisses along Harry’s jawline before landing on his mouth and he slowly runs his tongue along the full bottom lip before slipping inside, still keeping up the maddening up and down motions of his hand. He ends the kiss after only a few seconds, and adjusts his body to align their rock hard cocks. He wraps his hand around both of them, sweat and an increasing amount of pre come creating just enough slickness for him to pump effortlessly, and Harry's lost. Words can't describe how good it feels and he can’t control the guttural sounds escaping his throat. 

Louis leans to one side, lifting up just enough to allow him to alternate between looking at the movements of his hand and throwing his head back with a mask of concentrated bliss on his face.

It’s too much for Harry, he lifts his legs to link just under Louis’ bum. He reaches around to grab hold of the firm globes, causing Louis to lay flush against him, which makes it near impossible for Louis to continue moving his hand effectively. In a satisfying remedy for both of them when Louis' hold becomes a little tighter and he begins to move wildly against Harry to produce the friction they need.

"Kiss me,” Harry’s demands, and both of their movements become more frantic the second their mouths touch. Harry wildly entangles their tongues just as Louis comes moaning Harry’s name, his body jerking uncontrollably. 

Hearing the raw moans Louis is in no way trying to hold back sends Harry over the edge. He let's out a wrecked cry as he gives into the searing heat crawling over his skin.

When the fog clears Louis rains kisses over Harry’s chest, but when his hypersensitive skin can’t take anymore Harry wraps his arms around Louis to hold him close, making them both aware of the mess between them.

“I'll be right back,” Louis lifts himself off of Harry and the bed before going into their private bathroom. He comes back a few minutes later with a warm flannel that smells like berries, and gently cleans the remains of their lovemaking from Harry. When he's done Louis leaves the room again to take the flannel back into the bathroom, returning a few seconds later to turns the bedroom lights off before crawling under the top sheet. He rests his head back on Harry’s chest and hooks one arm around his waist, letting the other one rest in between their bodies.

“So tired,” Harry’s almost unconscious as he pulls Louis closer.

“Then sleep,” Louis whispers.

“Don't want to wake up and this wasn't real. Can't take losing you again,” Harry confesses.

“Go to sleep, love. I’ll be right here when you open your eyes.”

“I love you, Louis,” Harry replies, but he’s already asleep when Louis says it back.

***

It's still dark outside when Harry wakes up disoriented, his eyes to blurry to focus on anything. The only light in the room comes from the open door of the adjoining bathroom, and as soon as his eyes clear he looks at the clock on the entertainment stand, groaning when he sees it’s only one thirty in the morning. He grabs the remote to the television thinking it’s going to be another long and sleepless night, and he's just about to press power when everything comes back to him.

“Shit,” he mumbles out loud, Louis' last words on repeat in his head. _"Go to sleep, love. I'll be right here when you wake up.”_

Knowing he’s alone in the bed, Harry still turns his head to look at the space beside him and his body begins to tremble in response to the battle he's fighting to keep from crying out. His eyes are closed and he’s biting down on his bottom lip when he feels the sheet lift and the mattress dip, quickly followed by a hand on his chest.

“Harry, what’s wrong. Why are you shaking?" Louis’s voice is filled with worry as he moves his hand from Harry’s chest to caress his face.

He turns his face into Louis’ touch and opens wet eyes to look into blue ones filled with worry.

“Curly talk to me, please,” Louis begs softly.

“You promised you’d be here. Didn’t know what to think.”

“Oh, babe,” Louis tenderly wipes away the tear that falls down the side of the Harry's face. “I had to take a piss. Then I realized I was starving, and I thought you might be too so I ordered take out from that all night deli you love because there's absolutely nothing here,” he lifts his head to place a sweet kiss on Harry’s mouth before he continues. “You were so tired I thought you'd be out for a while.”

Harry nods his acceptance of the explanation and he flips them so that Louis is lying on his back. He buries his face in the bend of Louis’ neck and breathes in his scent, still trembling.

“Haz, I’m here. I’m never leaving you again,” Louis vows, unintentionally causing a little of the anger Harry experienced before to return.

“What are you doing here, Louis?” he asks against Louis’ throat.

“Breathing again,” Louis answers emotionally.

Harry briefly holds him tighter before he pulls back. He needs space. “That would have been enough after the Grammys or anytime during the past three weeks, but it’s not now,” he responds, the hurt at Louis' abandonment burning in his eyes.

Louis stares back just as intently before he answers. “Are you sure you want to do this now, wouldn’t you rather get more sleep first?”

“No, now’s good," Harry responds stiffly, and Louis pushes Harry off of him with a resigned breath before getting out of the bed.

“Back in a few,” he says over his shoulder as he’s walking out of the bedroom naked as the day he was born, leaving a bewildered Harry behind, but his bladder is about to burst so he uses Louis’ absence to visit the bathroom. On his way he spots a pair of pajama bottoms crumpled on the floor which he guesses Louis must have taken off before he got back on the bed.

When Harry comes back into the bedroom there's a tray sitting on the foot of the bed with a plastic container of soup and a one of the huge sandwiches the deli specializes in still in the white paper wrap. Louis walks in right behind him holding a bottle of water and some paper towels.

“Climb in, love,” he tells Harry as he places the rest of the items on the tray. After he's settled Louis passes him the tray to hold until he’s comfortably sitting beside him. “Okay, we can talk, but only if you eat something because it’s killing me that you haven’t been taking care of yourself.”

A blush spreads over Harry’s cheeks, but it's obvious Louis hasn't handled their separation all that well either. “Looks like you’re minus a few pounds yourself,” Harry points out with a small smile.

“Yeah, well I’ve been on a diet,” Louis responds haughtily, flipping his fringe back. “Now eat up,” he hands Harry one of the spoons before picking up one of the four triangles the sandwich is cut into for himself.

Harry digs in to the soup, and the chicken and rice medley is as good as he knew it would be, the warmth of it settling in his stomach nicely. They eat in silence, sharing the water and the soup, but they munch on their own triangle of the delicious sandwich. Still it's not long before they've had enough.

“Thanks, I didn’t realize how hungry I was,” Harry tells Louis after wiping his mouth with one of the napkins.

“Yeah, me too,” Louis responds, both of them ignoring the fact that they’ve hardly eaten anything. “Let me put this away, and then we’ll talk, yeah?” He’s out of the door before Harry can respond.

Again Harry takes advantage of Louis' absence, this time brushing his teeth. When he makes it back to the bedroom Louis is retrieving his own toothbrush from the carryon Harry hadn't noticed before. He smiles nervously before heading to the bathroom and Harry shuts off the lights before settling under the sheet one more time.

When Louis joins him Harry pulls him in for a tight snuggle. “What do you want to know?” Louis asks after a small silence, his voice whispery as Harry runs his long fingers through his hair.

“I mean… I don’t know. It looks like you’ve forgiven me. I guess I just need to know why and how. I can’t repeat LA, Louis. I won’t,” Harry says, his eyes clouding at the memory of what happened after the Grammys. “What if the pictures leak? Are you going to be able to stay with me through that?”

“When I left your hotel room that night it was all I could think about. I can’t promise it’ll be easy, but I’m not going anywhere because I love you, Harry," Louis places a tender kiss on Harry's chest be continuing. "It took me awhile to get here, but I know whatever happened in that room three weeks ago had absolutely nothing to do with us. It still hurts, and I can’t pretend to understand it, but I know you would never intentionally fracture what we have.”

Harry links their fingers together, humbled by Louis' words and more in love than he was before.

“As soon as I gathered enough courage and kicked the hell out of a shitload of pride, I called you, but your phone kept going to voicemail. I thought you might be ignoring me so I called Liam, and he told me you’d flown out here. I would have been here the same day, but I was a bit sore,” Louis says it like it’s not a big deal, but Harry's mortified when he makes the connection.

“Lou,” it comes out as a pained groan as guilt and shame wash over him

“Don’t you dare, Haz. That was all on me, and I won’t have you being guilty over it,” Louis reprimands.

“You could have really hurt yourself,” Harry argues, imagining the discomfort. "It would've been my fault.

“I think it could have been worse, and I’ve learned a lesson I won’t be repeating ever,” Louis swears, continuing before Harry can reply. “I was fine to fly out yesterday, but because of the Chris Brown drama Liam advised me that I should stay put until he and Zayn could convince the press that I was back in London. So after Zayn had some old pictures of me entering the flat planted in the media Liam flew me out on the same plane he chartered for you. I’ve been in Miami since very early this morning, well yesterday morning now,” he says, sounding matter of fact. “Paul met me at the airport, and of course I would've come straight here, but Liam called before we got into traffic practically begging me not to see you until after the interview.”

Harry can't get over the fact that Louis was on the plane right before he boarded it to fly back out to LA. “Paul deserves a vacation, and I think I just might kill Liam?” he finally gets a word in.

“Don’t be too mad at him. He didn't want you to be distracted, and he worried that you might not do the interview at all if you knew I was here. By the way I watched it, and you were brilliant.”

“Just hope I haven’t made things worse,” Harry murmurs, admitting to himself that Liam was right in assuming he wouldn't have flown back to LA if he’d known Louis was in Miami.

“Pretty sure not. I'm sorry I added to your turmoil,” Louis lifts his head from Harry’s chest, but Harry can barely make out his face in the dark room.

“I’m the one who’ll be apologizing for the rest of our lives,” he vows, but Louis shakes his head and lays a finger over Harry’s lips.

“No, if I'm honest I owe you an apology. Please listen," Louis pleads when Harry tries to interrupt him. "I love you, Harry, don't ever doubt it, but I’ve been waiting for something like this to happen,” he confesses before laying his head back on Harry's chest. "Before you I never thought I'd be in a relationship with another man. It was never even an option, but you happened and I couldn’t deny what was…what is between us. It's so frightening sometimes,” he sighs.

This time Harry manages to interrupt Louis before he can go on. “Sometimes it overwhelms me too, Louis. You do know that, don’t you?” he asks, needing Louis to understand he’s not immune to the fear caused by their powerful connection.

“It's different for you," Louis responds, eyes filling with water. "You've always known who you are, but almost three years later I’m still asking questions I don’t have the answers to. All I know for certain is that I love you. Maybe that should be enough. Sometimes it is, but sometimes it's not, and that's when I doubt us. No, sometimes I doubt you. For that I'm sorry."

Harry wipes at the tears on his face, reeling and devastated from Louis' revelations. “Why does there even have to be a question? Yes I'm gay, but I have never felt for any one the way I feel about you. It’s scary, Louis, but I have to face the fears because I love you, and nothing can or will ever change that,” he vows, frowning when he hears Louis choke back a sob.

“I need you to hear this,” Harry demands softly. "I’m so in love with you, and I’m so committed to us. I just need you to not doubt that. I know that might be hard to believe considering everything that’s going on right now, but it’s the absolute truth. I’m begging you to trust me,” he pleads, sighing in relief when Louis whispers, “I do,” and he leans in to capture his mouth.

Louis is prepared, eagerly engaging in the battle for control. Harry admits defeat with a low moan as Louis begins to suck hungrily on his tongue. He ends the kiss to climb over Harry and straddle him, mumbling, "I do” over and over as he trails wet kisses over Harry’s chest.

“Louis,” Harry whimpers when Louis slides down, and begins to licks into his navel and the skin around it. He retraces his path until he’s back at Harry’s mouth, kissing him hard and fast before moving back down. He stops to make love to Harry’s stomach with his mouth, teeth, and tongue, only continuing his trek when Harry's moving wildly beneath him. He bucks harder when Louis immediately swallows him down.

Louis brings a hand up to start pinching Harry's nipples really hard like he likes it, and he has to make a concerted effort not to push too far into Louis’ mouth. Louis isn't having it though, he takes Harry deeper and deeper into his mouth with every head bob, only gagging slightly. Harry is almost wrecked when Louis pulls off to start licking along the underside before latching on to the head, pressing his tongue in and out of the leaking slit.

“Need you in me,” Harry gasps when he begins to move his head up and down again.

Nodding, Louis pulls off long enough to reach for the lube and a condom from the nightstand, quickly squeezing some of the lubricant onto his fingers, He takes Harry into his mouth again, and gently inserts a finger to begin the opening him up, masterfully swallowing Harry down at the same time.

Harry's begging by the time Louis has three fingers in. Louis looks just as needy and he licks around the head one more time before pulling off all together. He opens the condom and rolls it over his own straining erection. He covers it with the scented lubricant before sinking back in between Harry’s legs, moaning when Harry reaches behind him to graze his bum cheeks with his nails before he wraps his legs around Louis’ thighs.

He enters Harry slowly, drawing out the intense pleasure, and even when he’s all the way in he still goes slow, moving in and out at a deliberate pace that has Harry begging him to go faster. It changes when Louis rubs Harry's prostate, and he lets out a particularly raunchy, _Fuck me_. Louis' body gives him no choice then, and he fastens his mouth to Harry’s neck, leaving his mark as he pounds in and out of the moaning and gasping wreck beneath him.

“So good, babe,” Louis moans, moving from Harry’s neck to his ear.

“Louis! Shit!” Harry shouts a few minutes later when the intense heat travels up his body before he explodes. Three thrusts later Louis groans Harry's name and he surrenders to his own orgasm before collapsing onto Harry’s chest.

When the trembles finally subside and they both come down enough for them to move Louis repeats his tasks, leaving the bed to get a flannel, wiping Harry up as much as possible upon his return, but this time he simply throws the cloth on the floor before pulling the duvet up along with the sheet.

“Love you, Louis. So much,” Harry declares droggily against the top of Louis’ head.

“Love you so much more,” Louis replies sleepily.

Harry disagrees, but he’ll let Louis get away with it just this once.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only two chapters left. Thanks for sticking with it.xx


	8. It Can End Here

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter gave me so much trouble. Sorry to those who don't agree with how the situation was handled. xx

Sunlight is pouring into the bedroom when Harry opens his eyes. He yawns and immediately realizes the space beside him is empty again, but this time he quickly spots Louis sitting at the foot of the bed with his knees drawn to his chest, staring at him intently.

Harry tilts his head to indicate the empty space beside him. “I miss you when I wake up and you’re not beside me,” he drawls sleepily when Louis crawls back under the duvet.

"Well, I miss you when you’re asleep, and I’m awake,” Louis lifts his hand up to cup Harry’s jaw.

“Still can’t believe you’re here,” Harry's eyes roam over Louis' face, his heart aching with relief.

“Believe it,” Louis demands gently.

“How long have you been up?”

“Long enough to order groceries and clean up the destruction area that used to be our kitchen.”

“You cleaned up?” Harry's justifiably skeptical because Louis has the housekeeping skills of a two year old.

“Okay, I helped Helena do it,” Louis admits, sounding a little miffed.

Harry thinks it was probably more of a case of Louis watching or getting in their housekeeper’s way instead of actually helping her out, but he wisely doesn't say that out loud.

“By the way, you gave her a very hefty bonus that I had to force her to take." Louis continues, smiling now.

“I’ll be sure to apologize when I see her,” Harry can't help feeling a little embarrassed. He never wanted Helena to know how distraught he was, and he certainly never intended for her to have to clean the mess he made.

Louis slots their fingers and smiles sweetly. “She knows you’ve been under a lot of pressure. In fact she's quite offended on your behalf. To quote her, _“Those people are pinche idiotas, they don’t know Mr. Styles at all.”_

“Why is Helena cursing in Spanish, and I really wish she'd stop calling me Mr. Styles,” Harry cringes at the moniker better suited for an older person. Definitely not him.

“Apparently she’s dating someone named Juan who thinks half the human population are _pinche idiotas_ ,” Louis says the words in his best Spanish accent which sounds more German to Harry, but that's just him. It's Louis so it's still adorable that he even tried.

“And you can’t hate Mr. Styles more than I hate Mr. Tomlinson.” Louis sounds resigned to the fact. Which he probably should be because he and Harry have both asked their fifty plus year old housekeeper to call them Harry and Louis too many times to count, but she simply refuses despite their pleas.

“Juan sounds like an interesting character,” Harry retorts.

“I imagine so if he snagged Helena. I think she's quite the catch,” Louis talks as he throws the duvet back. “Come on love, you have to get up and shower before Niall gets here.”

“He’s not due until tomorrow,” Harry's sure the message his attorney left him said he’d be in Miami on Friday.

“Your phone must be dead or turned off because he left a message on mine saying he was flying in today,” Louis explains while getting to his feet.

“Shit,” Harry exclaims, turning onto his back before rubbing his hand across his face.

“Nothing's happened, Haz. I had the same thoughts when I heard the message. I’ve checked the internet and all the news channels. There was nothing except a few interesting stories about your interview,” Louis assures him. "Niall's not answering his phone so imagine he's in flight," he shrugs and holds his hand out for Harry, pulling him into a tight embrace after he stands up. "I guess we'll find out the reason for his early arrival when he gets here."

“When will it be over?” Harry asks, the frustration and fear evident in his voice as he presses his head in the curve of Louis’ neck.

“I don’t know, but we can handle it together yeah?” Louis pulls back to look Harry in the eyes, his own shining with love.

“Yeah,” Harry agrees. “I don’t know what I ever did to deserve you.”

“Must have been something really good,” Louis says cheekily. “Now about that shower.”

“Don’t suppose I could talk you into joining me?” Harry asks, sounding hopeful.

Louis tilts is head to the side, and he looks like he's contemplating something serious before he smiles. “Well, Curly, just so happens I don’t have anything better to do at the moment.”

***

A few hours later they’re sitting out on the shaded deck covered in sunscreen and enjoying the warm February breeze.

Louis is lying on his stomach in one of the cushioned lounges. He has on black gym shorts with no shirt, and Harry's sitting in the lounge across from him in similar shorts, sans shirt as well.

“I’m a little parched, think I’ll head in for a cuppa,” Louis informs him, and thanks to Helena replacing all the destroyed dishes he can drink out of an actual cup. “Do you want anything?” he asks when he stands to his feet.

“I’m good,” Harry answers, but when Louis goes to move past he grabs him by the wrist to pull him down onto his thighs. Caught off guard Louis laughs, and he adjusts himself so that he’s sitting across Harry legs.

“Hey, I’m not the woman in this relationship,” he mock chides after placing his arms around Harry's neck.

“I’m sorry to disagree, but there's this little thing you do with your wrist...,” Harry's voice trails off and he puckers his mouth for a kiss.

Louis ignores him. “How many time do I have to tell you that's from an old football injury,” he sounds put off, but not really.

“Football injury my arse. ” Harry mocks, moving in to initiate the kiss since Louis won't.

“Fuck you, Harry. Besides I know how much you really like my wrist,” he mumbles against Harry’s mouth as he moves his hand to pull at Harry's drawstring.

Harry opens his mouth just as Louis slips his hand inside the waist of his nylon bottoms, but before he can go any further a horrified voice interrupts them.

“Whoa! If your hand moves down one more inch I swear I’m going to throw up right here,” Niall spouts from the deck entrance.

Harry reluctantly pulls away from Louis’ mouth to turn towards his attorney and friend. “Remind again why you have keys to all of my homes,” he responds sardonically to the outburst.

“Because to anyone looking I own all of your homes, you big dick,” Niall responds, his tone just as dry.

“He literally doesn’t know the half of it,” Louis whispers in Harry's ear, causing him to smirk because he wholeheartedly agree with the naughty reference.

Except for the flat in London it would appear to anyone searching that Niall owns Harry's Tennessee and Miami homes. It would take an expert to dig beneath all the paperwork to find out who the real owner of the properties is. Kidding aside Harry more than likes the arrangement because it allows him and Louis to have so much more privacy. It's the primary reason they can sit out on the deck and snog without worrying about being snapped by the paparazzi.

“I thought you weren’t due until tomorrow?" Harry's reminds his attorney about his earlier message.

“Let’s take this inside, okay?” Liam answers for the Niall, appearing at his side.

“Liam, what are you doing here?” Harry asks, surprised to see his manager.

“We need to be here, Harry, and since Niall was already in LA we decided to fly out with him,” Liam clarifies.

Zayn speaks up from behind him, clearing up who Liam meant by we. “It’s good to see you guys back together. I’m so happy for you two,” he says, pushing past Niall and Liam to join the reunited couple out on the deck, giving them both a hug.

“Same here,” Liam adds after Niall says, “Me too, guys.”

"Thanks, it means a lot to us," Harry responds for both of them. "Although I'm not too sure how much I like you right now, Liam." 

“What’s going on, Niall?” Louis speaks out for the first time, not giving Liam a chance to respond to his client's teasing.

“Liam’s right we should discuss this inside,” Niall responds, giving nothing away by his words or the expression on his face, and Harry instantly recognizes that he's lawyered up.

“We'll grab a couple of shirts, and meet you guys inside,” he tells them, no longer feeling so lighthearted.

It shows.

Once the three men leave Louis stands from where he's still sitting on Harry’s thighs. “Remember, we do this together,” he reminds Harry.

“Okay,” Harry takes Louis’ outstretched hand, but this time his pulse still beats furiously.

***

They're still holding hands when they walk into the sitting room a few minutes later. Liam, Zayn, and Niall are sitting on the larger sofa, leaving the smaller one for Louis and Harry to take.

When they sit down they don't leave an inch of space between them, and the first thing Harry zeroes in on is the large manila envelope in Niall's hands. “I’m supposing that has something to do with the reason you’re here a day early?” he asks, pointing towards the object in question.

“Yes, it does,” Niall answers, looking Harry directly in the eyes. “It’s over if you want it to be,” he continues, pausing to look at Louis. “It can end here. Right now.”

“Explain please,” Louis says a little desperately and he squeezes Harry’s hand tighter.

“I’m not going to draw this out with the inconsequential stuff, but I flew back to LA yesterday to meet with the Cal to see how he was faring with the investigation," Niall begins, sounding formal. “Thanks to video footage in the lobby and the honesty of an employee we know the whole story, Harry. We know everything."

Harry's hand begins trembling and he tightens his hold on Louis' hand to control it, unconsciously moving in closer to his boyfriend at the same time. He doesn’t know Cal Aurand personally, but he knows Niall has absolute trust in the abilities of the private detective he hired.

“The short of it is you were drugged and the pictures were staged," Niall says.

"Does that mean...?" Harry interrupts, his heart almost beating out of his chest.

"Yes, it means you were never unfaithful to Louis," Niall replies with compassion and understanding."

"We've already established that," Louis says only for Harry's benefit, looking at him with so much love it's almost painful to see. "But I think we deserve to hear the entire story," he adds, and Harry nods resolutely before turning to look at his lawyer again.

“It's all in here," Niall lays the envelope on the table. "The video, the results from your drug test, the phone used to take the photos, the confessions from and names of both girls behind this nightmare, and a statement from the night manager at the hotel." 

"It was more than one?" Harry asks, although he kind of suspected it all along.

"Yeah, turns out it was the night manager's daughter, Paige. Her and one of her close friends, Jenna," Niall says, but something about the way he says close puzzles Harry. He just can't figure it out with his attorney still talking. "They came up with the crazy scheme hoping to sell the pictures to make enough money to pay for Paige's college."

Harry stops him again. "I'm confused."

"I know, but just bear with me. Paige thought of the scheme after overhearing her mother talk about a very famous guest staying at the hotel for a couple of days. Her father had a heart attack over a year ago and lost his job in the process. That left their family with one income, and when they used up all of their savings the only thing they had left was their daughter's college fund."

"There're other ways to pay for college," Louis sounds confused. "Including getting a job."

"Yes, but none that would cover the cost of the out of state college Paige had been planning on attending with her friend," Niall replies.

"So what! They're friends. Going to school in separate states is not going to change that. It's certainly not the end of the world," Louis says angrily.

"It might seem like it to two seventeen year olds in love with each other," Niall says dryly.

“Fuck! They're girlfriends?” Harry asks, beginning to understand.

"Yes, unbeknownst to either of their families. Sad way to come out, yeah?" Niall replies, clearing his throat and continuing when no one responds. "Anyway, it was clear on the video that the girls were acting strange and there was no reason for them to be on your floor. When Cal showed the footage to the manager on duty that night she immediately identified her daughter and her friend, but she had no idea why they were there. At his request she brought them both to Cal's office yesterday, and through a river of tears and apologies they confessed to the whole thing including stealing one of the master keys from housekeeping, sneaking into your room and putting the powder from two sleeping capsules in the bottle of water on your nightstand."

"How would they know I would even drink it?" Harry asks, having trouble wrapping his head around the story.

"Apparently you're one of the more uncomplicated stars to stay at the hotel. That along with the fact that you only ever request for a particular brand of bottled water made it into the conversation the girls overheard. The rest was luck, I guess. The pills were stolen from the friend's mother," Niall hesitates noticeably before he continues. "They knew how effective the medicine was from watching how the pills affected Jenna's mother, but they still gave you a double dose to be sure you'd be out, and except for having to wait for you to come from my room everything played out how they planned. According to them you drank the water, went to bathroom, and collapsed on the bed almost immediately after you came out. They staged the photos, and after watching you for a couple of hours to make sure you didn't stop breathing, they left."

"That was really sporting of them," Louis says sarcastically.

"Why hold onto the pictures for all this time if they were planning on selling them?" Harry speaks up, furious now.

"They knew they were in over their head almost from the beginning, and the next day Jenna told Paige she didn't want to be a part of the scheme anymore. After talking it over they decided to just drop it. They essentially hoped by doing nothing that would be the end of it."

“They break into Harry's hotel room, drug him, leave him in limbo for weeks, and that was it for them? They tortured him, Niall,” Louis says before letting out a sob that has Harry pulling him in his arms.

“I’m so sorry, guys,” Liam speaks up, his face and voice full of compassion.

“I can’t fucking believe this,” Louis cries into Harry’s shoulder.

“What now?” Harry asks, rubbing a soothing hand over Louis' back, so angry he wants to scream.

“Like I said before, it’s up to you, mate,” Niall begins.

“What do you mean it’s up to him?” Louis pulls away from Harry with an astonished look on his face. “It seems simple enough to me. Those girls committed more than one crime and they have to pay.”

“Let’s listen to what they have to say, okay?” Harry urges, looking at Louis with an unreadable expression on his face before he nods for Niall to continue.

"Just know that whatever you decide we're all behind you," Niall tells him, continuing when Harry nods. "As things stand right now the night manager will be suspended for discussing your stay with her husband because it violates the privacy agreement we have with the hotel, but at least she'll still have a job."

“Are you seriously trying to guilt him with that right now?” Louis asks Niall, sounding incredulous.

“It's not guilt, Louis. We're just looking at this from all sides, and that's just one of the things we thought Harry would want to consider. Except for having a conversation with her husband she's blameless and she took immediate responsibility. Even coming clean with her supervisor before we did," Liam answers for Niall. Unsatisfactorily in Harry's opinion.

"What else?" he asks tersely.

"There's only one more thing?" Liam hedges.

"And what is that?" Louis asks tersely.

“Harry, you have to know if you take this to the police it becomes public record. Every sordid detail, and in the process it becomes open fodder for the press,” Liam states.

“Again, whatever you decide to do we're one hundred percent behind you. From this point on we’re proactive in this, not reactive. That's why we're here,” Zayn picks up where Liam left off. “I can have a statement ready to go in matter of minutes if you want Niall to turn the evidence over to the LAPD."

"Which I can do before the end of the day," Niall puts in. "But if you want to keep it quiet we can do that too. The hotel has to abide by our privacy agreement. They wouldn't want the bad publicity anyway, and with what's at stake for those girls you don't have to worry about them saying anything ever. That goes for the mother as well, but of course we'll get lifetime nondisclosure agreements from them too."

Harry instantly knows what he wants to do, but he feels Louis tense up beside him. “Listen guys, I hate to ask, but I really need to talk to Louis alone."

Harry realizes he wasn't the only victim in this. Those girls made Louis suffer too, and now Harry knows that whatever they decide, they have to make the decision together.

“No worries there. We'll just head out for some lunch,” Niall says before standing up. "Take your time."

“Before we go I think you should know the response from your interview has been overwhelmingly positive,” Liam says, following Niall by standing up, immediately placing his hand in Zayn’s. "The whole thing probably won't even be a memory in most people's minds by tomorrow."

"That's good to know," Harry replies, but all he can think about is how Louis hasn't looked up for the past few minutes.

“Let's make our exit, boys,” Niall says after a small silence.

“We can talk more later,” Liam adds.

“Sounds good,” Harry gets up to follows them to the entryway, hugging each of them before they walk through the door.

“Just try to hear what he has to say,” Zayn whispers when it’s his turn, obviously guessing why Harry asked to talk to Louis alone.

“I will,” Harry responds, but he thinks getting Louis to hear what he has to say is more likely going to be the real problem.

***

The closed look on Louis' face when Harry walks back into the sitting room confirms his suspicions.

“Surely you’re not considering letting those girls get away with this?” Louis asks quietly when Harry sits back down beside him.

“Louis, I’m just as upset as you are, but I would be lying if I didn’t say that I'm really ready for this to just be over with,” Harry sighs, and leans his head to rest on the back of the small couch.

“Harry!” Louis says his name in disbelief. "Think of all the things that could have gone wrong. What if you had been allergic to those pills? What if they had given you too high a dose? What if you had vomited in your sleep? They gave you drugs when you had been drinking. Don’t you get it! They left you alone after drugging you! You could have died, Harry. You were all alone and you could have died! I could have lost you!” he's almost screaming now, and while Harry can’t deny the scary truth of Louis’ words he refuses to contribute to that dark period after all he’s been through.

“Louis, I’m right here, and none of that came close to happening,” he reasons.

“What if it had? Would you want me and your family to let them off then?” Louis asks crossly.

“That would be an entirely different situation, and whenever have we based our relationship on what ifs? The fact that you’re here with me now attests to that, doesn’t it? Before today we didn’t know if I’d actually slept with that girl or not, but you forgave me despite that being a very real possibility. Didn't you?” Harry asks, pressing his point.

“Yes,” Louis quietly concedes. “Still doesn’t compare to or excuse what they did to you. What they did to us, Harry. They’ve caused us so much pain, and it’s beyond cruel what they did. They have to pay for it."

“Lou, until yesterday I thought I'd lost you. I felt violated and ripped open by what was going on. I don’t want to have to live through that again, but if we involve the police I'll have to. Only this time with the eyes of the world on me," Harry contends. "Then there are the people who'll ignore all of the evidence, and still blame me somehow. Please tell me you understand."

"They stole time from us we’ll never get back,” Louis argues, but Harry finally hears the softening he’s been waiting for.

“Maybe no, but we can most definitely make up for it. In the most splendid ways, don't you think?” he asks dramatically, wiggling his eyebrows.

“You're an idiot,” Louis says, smiling for the first time since they came in from the deck.

“I’m not suggesting the girls don’t pay in some way. I’m sure Niall can arrange something, but I can’t help being thankful that you’re here, and oddly enough, I think we’re stronger now.”

“I love you so much, Haz. Always,” Louis vows.

“I love you too, more than I can ever say,” Harry responds, pulling Louis into his arms. Relieved that they’re on the cusp of putting the worse than nightmarish last few weeks behind them. “No authorities then. We keep this quiet?” he asks, just to make sure they're in agreement now.

“Only if it's what you really want,” Louis finally concedes, but not without two conditions. "Now shut up and kiss me before I change my mind."

Feeling like the victor in a hard fought battle Harry eagerly complies to the fond demand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more to go! Thanks to anyone who took the time to leave a comment (good or bad) or for leaving a kudos. xx


	9. Until I Met You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 8 was supposed to be the last chapter, but Liam and Zayn had to be photographed with Caroline Watson's baby so blame them for this. Hope it turned out okay. Also I know nothing about the Ghanaian adoption process. All my imagination.

_2 Years, 8 Months, and 14 Days Later:_

Harry's looking at Louis from across the room of their favorite restaurant with a besotted look on his face. They're celebrating their fifth anniversary, and they've rented out Rosso’s for the occasion.

Because of their frequent patronage the owners were more than happy to do it for the much loved couple. It probably helped that they were on the guest list, and besides the two owners, the guests are limited to their closest family and friends, but sadly Harry's sister couldn't make it. Gemma's eighth months pregnant with her first child and can’t travel per doctor’s orders.

Harry was on the final leg of the sold out tour for his fourth cd for their last anniversary. The record went triple platinum like the two before it, and because of it he and Louis had to celebrate over a phone call. They celebrated again when Louis joined him for the last week of the tour, but Harry's grateful they're home for this one. Their third anniversary came just three months after he was drugged, and they were still dealing with the aftermath.

It took Louis a while to accept that there wouldn’t be criminal charges against the girls despite giving in to Harry's wishes, but with the help of an associate whose specialized in criminal law Niall came up with a plan that satisfied both Harry and Louis.

The girls and their parents had to sign a contract requiring each of their daughters to put in four hundred hours of community service at a drug rehab facility. Louis set the number of hours, demanding two hundred hours of service for each pill they gave Harry. They were also each required to make a total of twenty four one hundred dollar monthly contributions to the charities of Harry and Louis’ choosing, again one year for each of the pills. Because they needed someone to make sure the agreement was being abided by Cal was kept on to monitor the girls, and apart from his regular updates to Niall that continued until the terms of the agreement were satisfied, Harry's and Louis' involvement ended.

Harry shakes the bad memory off, he refuses to let anything to spoil tonight. It's easy to do as he watches Louis walk over to Zayn to take his and Liam’s almost three year old daughter from the PR agent’s arms. Harry's face takes on an even more besotted look as Jaclyn eagerly climbs onto Louis before wrapping her chubby arms around his neck. She just finished with a small tantrum because an ever health conscious Liam refused to let his daughter have a second piece of the anniversary cake, and even at thirty one months she knows that her “Unca Lou” will sneak her more of the sweet confection. 

A few months after they were married Liam and Zayn started making frequent trips to Ghana. Now their friends and family know the visits were a part of the country’s adoption process that required prospective parents to spend time getting to know the child before the adoption was approved. Liam and Zayn told their everyone they were doing volunteer work. but six months after they started going on the trips the pair showed up at Harry and Louis’ home in London with Jaklyn in Liam's arms. Their puzzlement turned to shock when he introduced Louis and Harry to the bouncing beauty in the little red sweat suit and pink socks. Harry's manager couldn't keep the pride out of his voice while saying the seven month old's name and the tears in his eyes let them know just how much he already loved Jaclyn Amani Malik-Payne.

They stayed with Harry and Louis for a week before leaving for the new house the purchased in Wolverhampton. By then Louis had already started calling his goddaughter JaJa, and she had all of them wrapped around every one of her fingers and toes. Even Niall, the confirmed bachelor by his own proclomation, melted into a puddle of gibberish when he was around her.

The image of Louis one day cradling their own child flashes in Harry's head, and he can't control the dreamy expression on his face as he continues to watch his boyfriend comfort their goddaughter. Louis coos and nuzzles Jaklyn’s neck with his nose causing her to giggle, the anniversary cake forgotten for the moment.

Harry reluctantly tears his gaze away from the pair to signal his mum that it’s time to begin the part of the night Louis has no clue about, and taking her cue Anne makes her way to the front of the restaurant.

Harry walks over to where Louis is still playing with Jaclyn, and when she spots him her smile gets bigger. “Unca Hawwy,” she chortles, holding her arms out to him.

“Hi, pumpkin,” Harry kisses her cheek when he takes her from Louis. Once he has her settled safely on his side he pulls Louis into his other side. He keeps his arm draped over Louis' shoulder and nods in his mother's direction.

“May I have everyone’s attention,” Anne says after clearing her throat. The size of the room and the small number of people make it easy for her voice to carry.

Harry shrugs when Louis looks up at him with a puzzled look on his face. "Our mums told me they wanted to say a little something before the night ended. They didn't mention it to you?" he asks with a questioning look of his own, and Louis only has time to whisper no before Anne starts speaking.

"Most of you know that I'm Harry’s very proud mother,” she says, smiling at Louis and Harry before she continues. “Tonight we’re here to celebrate the fifth anniversary of my son and his wonderful boyfriend. One of a parent's greatest wishes for their children is that they to find someone deserving of their love, and after watching the relationship between Harry and Louis continue to grow and evolve over the past five years I'm more than assured that Louis is deserving of Harry's love. It's also shown me that Harry is deserving of the amazing love Louis has for him. With that being said you're a much loved and very welcome part of our family, Louis. We all are so thankful that Harry has you. You’re both so special, and you two are shining examples of what being in love should be. So I'll end this by saying on behalf of myself, Des, Robin, Gem, and the rest of our family, happy anniversary and congratulations for all the beautiful things to come.”

She holds her glass of champagne up to them when she finishes making the toast, and as expected the room erupts in a chorus of cheers and applaud.

“Thank you so much for that,” Louis says when Anne walks over to embrace him, and Harry sees the sheen of tears in his boyfriend's eyes.

“Thank you for loving my son,” Anne whispers back emotionally before pulling back to look up at Harry with tears in her own eyes. “I’m so happy for you, baby,” she says as she places one arm around his waist and the other around Jaclyn.

Harry knows her words and tears aren't just because of his and Louis’ anniversary, and with pleading eyes he begs her to stop before she gives something away. “Thanks, mum,” he responds.

Anne gives her son an understanding smile before steps back to holds her arms out for the toddler. “Come on, you little heartwarmer,” Anne says, and JaJa throws herself into the waiting arms, causing Anne to stumble backwards before righting herself. By now the almost three year old is used to being transferred from one doting person to another. As they walk off Harry thinks it’s amazing she can even walk considering the amount of time she spends in peoples arms.

"My mum's turn apparently," Louis whispers.

Harry turns his attention back to the front of the restaurant just as Louis' mum steps into the space his own mum had just vacated. He pulls Louis in closeR when Jay begins her speech.

“Hello, everyone,” she begins. “In case some of you don't know Louis is my son, and I have to be honest when he first introduced me to Harry I was thrown for a loop. Here was my as far as I knew straight son bringing his boyfriend home for a visit. In his usual cheekiness Louis joked that he was killing two birds with one stone by informing me that he was gay and introducing me to Harry at the same time,” Jay laughs at the memory, and Louis has his face buried in Harry’s chest, shaking his head in disbelief. “I mean I had always wondered because of this little thing he does with his wrist."

“Mum!” Louis sounds mortified as the room erupts into laughter, and then he turns a suspicious gaze on Harry. “I know you put her up to that,” he groans. Up until now, it was just his and Harry's joke.

"I swear I didn’t, babe. I had no idea they were even planning this until tonight,” Harry tells both lies with a straight face, but Louis still looks doubtful as he turns back to his mother.

"I’m only joshing, sorry, boo,” Anne starts talking again, and Louis groans again at hearing the shortened version of her pet name for him. “Nonetheless, I could see the worry in my son’s eyes so I put my shock aside and did what I hope any mother would do in the same situation. I hugged Louis and welcomed Harry into our home. I’m ashamed to admit that at the I time thought it was a phase or some sort of experimentation, but I’m standing here tonight so very thankful that it wasn’t. In no time at all not only had we welcomed Harry into our home, but he had set up permanent residence in our hearts as well.” Jay’s eyes fill with water, and Harry almost panics, thinking maybe it wasn’t such a good idea to involve their mums after all. “You’re made of good stuff Harry, and this mother couldn’t hope or pray enough for someone so perfect for her son. I have never in my life witnessed two people so meant to be together, and as cliché as it may sound, you guys really do complete each other. I love you both so dearly,” she wipes the corners of her wet eyes before lifting her glass. “From me, the girls, and the rest our family, may you both always be as happy and as in love as you are at this moment.”

Identical cheers from the ones after Anne’s speech go around the room as Jay steps over to Harry and Louis, and she wraps her arms around her son first, holding on so long that Harry becomes nervous again.

“I love you, bear,” Jay says sweetly into Louis’ ear, and when she pulls back the tears are falling freely now.

“I love you too, mum, and thanks, I think,” Louis responds fondly before Jay moves over to Harry. 

“Oh, Harry, I’m so happy,” she says before throwing her arms around him, and it sounds like she adds "for you two," as an afterthought.

“Thanks, Jay. M’glad to hear it,” Harry kids, but he steps back to give her the same pleading look he gave his mum. He glances at Louis to see if it looks like he suspects anything, but he’s just watching them with an affectionate smile on his face. Relieved, Harry allows himself to be pulled into another brief hug by Jay before she leaves them to more hugs and well wishes from other family members and friends.

Niall, Liam, and Zayn wait until everyone else is done before coming over to congratulate them, and after talking with them for a good bit it's time him and Louis to separate and mingle again, but Harry can’t concentrate because he’s too busy following the love of his life's every move. It doesn't take long for Louis to catch him in the act, and when his blue eyes immediately darken sensually Harry decides it’s time to bring the night to a close.

After five years it still only takes a look.

“Lou, come help me thank these kind people for coming out tonight,” Harry calls out once he’s standing where their mums had stood, but when Louis comes to stand beside him the nerves finally kick in. "So, thanks for coming tonight. We couldn't pick a better group of people to celebrate our love with. You want to say something?" he looks at Louis.

“Sure I do. Whatever Harry said,” Louis jokes, and of course everyone laughs, but when the laughter dies down Harry grabs Louis' arm before he can step away.

Louis looks confused, but he’s still smiling.

“I want to thank you too, babe,” Harry begins softly, facing Louis now instead of their guests.

Louis tilts his head with an even more puzzled look on his face as he stares up at Harry. “For what?”

“Okay,this is going to be corny, but I stand by every word,” Harry attempts humor, but fails, and needing to move in some way he grabs Louis’ hand, intertwining their fingers. He can’t figure out why he’s so anxious because it’s not like they haven’t discussed this before on several occasions. “I want to thank you for giving me five of the happiest years of my life, and also for giving me so many _you’ve made me the happiest man on earth_ moments that I can’t even begin to count them.”

“You’re right, you’re being corny, but I love you anyway,” Louis interrupts cheekily before he can continue, but he grips Harry’s hand tighter before turning to smile at their laughing audience.

“I want to thank you for taking a chance on me even though it went against everything you knew and everything thought you were. I know it was one of the hardest choices you’ve ever had to make,” Harry's cut off before he can get the next words out.

“It was the best choice I’ve ever made,” Louis assures him with a look of pure adoration in his eyes.

“Louis, if you keep interrupting me we’ll be up here all night,” Harry chides lovingly, smiling when Louis rolls his eyes and dramatically locks his lips with an invisible key.

Harry snorts at the gesture because he knows that’s all it was with Louis, but hoping for the best he continues anyway, “I want to thank you for standing by me through the tough times even when it looked like you shouldn’t have.”

The laughter fades from Louis’ eyes, but if possible his grip on Harry’s hand strengthens.

”I thank you for being the bravest and most courageous person I know. You amaze me more and more every single day.”

"Harry," Louis moans, his eyes clouding up, and because their emotions have been inexplicably connected since the beginning Harry’s own eyes tear up.

“I could stand here forever and still not run out of things to thank you for so I’ll expedite this and just thank you for making me a better person just by being you. I honestly wish every person on earth could know how it feels to be loved so completely," Harry's so choked with emotion his throat hurts. "I wake up and go to bed knowing you love me. There's not minute in between that I don't know it."

Louis sinks into Harry's arms, and Harry buries his face in the hollow of his neck, needing the contact.

“I love you so…,” Louis begins, but Harry shakes his head, placing a finger over his lips to stop him. “Finally, I want to thank you for possibly making my dream come true,” he says with eyes shining from unshed tears.

“What dream?” Louis looks baffled as he asks the question Harry planned on him asking.

“A few months ago a fan told me that growing up he always envisioned marrying a woman, and to him that was the hardest part of admitting he was gay," Harry's voice cracks on the last two words because shock spreads over Louis’ face. It’s obvious that he finally realizes what Harry's doing and he slaps a hand over his mouth. “I didn’t know how to respond because in every dream and fantasy I have ever had about getting married there was always a man by my side.”

Louis is the only one visible to most of their family and friends, and it must upset JaJa to see the tears on his face. “Unca Lou no cry,” she whines, leaning away Liam’s body to reach out for Louis. Zayn rubs his daughter’s back soothingly, and Liam pulls her back to whisper “shh” against her ear at the same time.

Louis tears his gaze away from Harry to look at her. “It's a happy cry, baby girl,” he smiles through his tears, blowing his goddaughter a kiss with both of his hands. “So happy,” he adds passionately as he turns back to Harry.

That seems to pacify Jaclyn and she settles in her father’s hold again. She blows the kiss back at Louis and it causes quite a few awes to come from the crowd. A great deal of whom are already sniffling. It’s probably a good thing Jaja can’t see her other unca’s wrecked face.

“The thing is I never dreamed of getting married until I met you, Louis,” Harry takes up where he left off, thankful for the short reprieve. “So with the blessings from our families already given to us by our mums." A sob escapes Louis as he finally understands what Anne and Jay had been doing, “I’m asking you to make my dream come true. To make me the happiest man on earth one more time," Harry never takes his eyes way from Louis and he gets down on one knee before taking the open black box holding two identical rings that Niall passes to him. "Louis William Tomlinson, will you please marry me?” he asks holding the box up.

There’s no loud yes or an animated scream. Louis simply nods twice, his mouth trembling like he's trying to say something, but can't. Still it's all the answer Harry needs because Louis' eyes are saying so much louder what his vocal chords can't.

Harry stands back up to lift Louis in his arms. He swings him around as their guests cheer and applaud for what seems like the thousandth time of the night. He doesn't know if Louis even looked at the double banded platinum rings with the single row of black diamonds in the middle. He really doesn’t care when he feels Louis’ legs wrap around his waist and his hot ears through the material of his shirt.

“How many times do I have to remind you that I’m not the female in this relationship,” Louis mumbles brokenly against Harry’s neck.

“Let's just agree to both be the man,” Harry jokes through his own tears.

“That’s no way to negotiate, Curly,” Louis tenderly wipes the wetness from Harry’s face.

“You love me anyway." Harry responds as Louis slides to his feet.

“I absolutely do,” Louis says, taking a step back, then holding his right hand out. "Hazza?"

“Yeah, babe,” Harry realizes he just responded to his future husband. Just when he thought he couldn't smile any harder.

“Since you like it so much, don’t you think you should put a ring on it?” Louis says to Harry’s and everyone else's delight. That's everyone except JaJa because she’s fast asleep against Liam’s chest. 

Harry's smiling more brilliantly than a thousand watt light bulb as he proudly slides the band on his Louis’s finger to more applause. He forgets to breathe when Louis slides the matching ring on his finger. With the bands in place Harry pulls Louis into another suffocating embrace that's returned with equal force.

“I have to correct you about one thing,” Louis says, his voice muffled by Harry's chest.

“Oh yeah, and what’s that?”

“You’re the one who makes me the happiest man on earth,” Louis tells him softly and sweetly.

"I hope so," Harry hugs his fiancé tighter, thinking that he might argue the point with Louis tomorrow.

Tonight Harry’s happy to let them share the sentiment, but if Louis is determined to press the issue, Harry's honestly not opposed to letting them share it for a lifetime.

The End

**Author's Note:**

> Too sappy? Too unrealistic? Comments very welcome and appreciated. Again thanks so much for reading.xx


End file.
